Random Days In The Mushroom Kingdom
by Kaiimi
Summary: A collection of one-shots and two-shots and three-shots all put together in one fic, all about Mario and his gang and seeing the chaotic randomness they go through every single day. WARNING: NO KOOPAS ALLOWED.
1. Attack of The Robot Godzilla

Yep, a new story from me. You heard it here first! And...OH EM GEE, it's not a horror story for once! You see, I wanted to do something other than stories that involve death, excessive amount of blood and swearing for once. So, I decided that it shall be a comedy story since that's my third favorite genre. (First being horror, obviously, and second being mystery...obviously). This fic won't contain any adult themes (okay...well, it MIGHT but I'll keep it under control), only minor language, and the violence would be like cartoon violence like you see in your typical Mario game or that show called Ed, Edd 'n Eddy. Now enough of me blabbing on, let's start the fic!

NOTE: If you take this fic seriously, you will die in 7 days.

NOTE 2: Thanks to ACT II for the inspiration!

NOTE 3: All your base are belong to us.

Chapter Uno

It was a bright, beautiful and sunny day up at the Mushroom Kingdom. Brothers and sisters were screaming at each other, there were riots going on at Target, Exploding Banana City is now under control of a princess named Your Mother, and there was a car crash in the streets every 5.324937393 seconds. Yep, it couldn't be more peaceful!

In Mushroom City, there was a city meeting where Town Hall was. Hundreds of citizens were there including reporters, camera men, milkshakes, slime monsters and Miley Cyrus' evil twin.

"...And that's why we all need to take precaution whenever we go outside after midnight. We don't want anymore people getting hurt..." Toadsworth said.

"...Or do we?" He snickered.

Everyone gasped at what Toadsworth said.

"YOU RACIST!" A koopa yelled out.

"Woah, calm down folks! It was just a joke, heh heh heh..." Toadsworth blushed awkwardly.

"Excuse me, Mr. Toadsworth, but what are YOU planning to do about the recent wave of crimes and danger falling upon our city?" Asked a Toad reporter.

"Oh me? Well, when times get rough, I can just get on my private jet and fly all the way to Sarasaland! Hahaha!" Toadsworth laughed. In fact he laughed so hard, everyone thought he was gonna explode.

"That wasn't even close to being funny. Is he mentally deranged or something?" Wario asked.

Toadsworth stopped laughing as soon as he realized no one was laughing with him.

"Umm...anyways, we will have police watching each neighborhood thoroughly, providing more security to the citizens." Toadsworth answered.

"Toadsworth sir! There are rumors that King Bowser Koopa may possibly be behind all of this. Do you believe that it's true?" Asked a Noki reporter.

"I've never heard of that rumor, but knowing Bowser, it probably is true. I'm thirsty, does anyone have any Gatorade?" Toadsworth asked.

"I do! But I'm not gonna give it to you so HA!" Donkey Kong laughed and drank all his gatorade. He then spit it out all over Dixie Kong because he realized that the Gatorade was Cool Blue flavored, not Cherry flavored.

"Oh my god...I'M DRENCHED IN GATORADE! MY WISHES HAVE BEEN GRANTED! YEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Dixie cheered and danced like there was no tomorrow.

"Grrrr! Curse you, you...you...uh...ugly monkey? Yeah! Haha, I am the King of Insults!" Toadsworth laughed in a supernatural way.

"Toadsworth sir? I have another question to ask you. Is it true that you divorced your wife to marry a watermelon?" Asked the Noki reporter again.

Toadsworth gasped at the question. And so did Paratroopa, who was right near Toadsworth, but he only gasped because he found out they're making a Super Mario Galaxy 6.

"Who-who told you that?" Toadsworth demanded.

"Why, it was Princess Peach!" She said, pointing to Peach who was in the middle of the crowd.

"Yo." She said.

"Peach...? Why on earth would you say this for?" Toadsworth asked.

"Because when you were at my house to stay over, I sneaked into your room at night to steal 50 coins but when I saw you in bed, I found you holding a watermelon tight in your arms!" Peach yelled.

"That's it. Undeniable proof that Toadsworth is a scumbag!" Waluigi said and laughed demonically, which creeped people out.

"That doesn't mean anything! I was hungry for a snack so I got up from bed to get a watermelon and brought it back to bed with me to eat it, but then I fell asleep while eating it! I swear on my life!" Toadsworth yelled back in defense.

"OKAY! YOU DON'T NEED TO FREAKING YELL! GOSH!" Daisy screamed.

"OH THE IRONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY." Tiny yelled in angst.

"Well, that concludes this city meeting. Now go scram back to whatever the heck it is you were all doing." Toadsworth said.

"WAIT! I WANNA SEE WHAT'S BEHIND THE SHY GUY'S MASK!" Diddy Kong called out.

"Shy Guy? Wha...?" Toadsworth said in confusion and looked around and spotted a Shy Guy that was right next to him. "WOAH! Where the heck did you come from?"

"I come from Planet Gorbulon 8." Shy Guy answered.

"Congratulations. Now, people want to see what's under your mask so do it or else I'll get Chain Chomp to chase you down all over the city!" Toadsworth demanded.

"There is no Chain Chomp." Shy Guy replied.

"Huh? Why do you say that?" Toadsworth asked.

"Because I ated it." Shy Guy answered.

"You ATED it? You...ATED IT? YOU ATED IT? YOU FREAKING ATED IT? ATED IT? ATED IT?" Toadsworth screamed and was literally turning red from his blood boiling.

Toadsworth then exploded into a bunch of party streamers and balloons.

"Okay...that was really weird...and mystifying..." Rosalina commented while eating Canadian Bacon.

"COME ON! WE WANNA SEE UNDER YOUR MASK!" Everyone yelled at the exact same time.

"Are you sure you wanna see?" Shy Guy asked.

"YES! JUST SHOW US ALREADY!" They all replied at the exact same time again.

"Okay, okay! Calm down, jeeze!" Shy Guy said.

"Sorry. We didn't mean to seem angry." Everyone said at the exact same time yet again.

Shy Guy put his hands on his mask, took it off, threw it to the ground and revealed his face for the world to see.

Everyone screamed in disgust and terror and said things such as "OH MY GOD THAT IS SO GROSS!", "Ewwww! He looks like Britney Spears in her 70's!" and "Huh. That's weird. I wonder what they're selling at Funcoland today."

In fact, Shy Guy's true face was so gross that it made Mario throw up on Daisy, which made Daisy throw up on Luigi, which made Luigi throw up on Yoshi, which made Yoshi throw up on Yoshi, which made Yoshi throw up on Yoshi again, which made Yoshi throw up on Peach, which made Peach throw up cotton candy and rainbows on Birdo, which made Birdo throw up toxic waste on Toad.

And as if things couldn't get any worse, a gigantic monster was seen and heard stomping throughout Mushroom City and it was getting closer to the crowd.

"Oh my god, what is that thing?" Birdo screamed.

"IT'S GODZILLA! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!" Daisy screamed and everyone scattered in every direction.

"Huh. Godzilla looks weird. He looks more metallic. And he looks a lot like Bowser too. And since when did Godzilla grow red hair and horns? Oh well, I'm hungry. I'm a get some McDonalds." Shy Guy said, putting back his mask on and skipped off.

"Come with me, you guys! I'm almost positive I know who is behind this!" Mario announced.

"Kay kay." Answered the Mario Crew at once. Then they all followed Mario while 'Godzilla' was breathing out fire on to the 'Building of Fluffy Stuff Such As Pillows and Clouds'.

Everyone followed Mario all the way to a mysterious looking house. In fact, the house was so mysterious that Peach almost had a heart attack.

"TOO...MUCH...MYSTERIOUSNESS!" Peach yelled, trying to control her breathing.

"Oh shut up and eat some grass, Peach!" Wario yelled.

"Oh! Don't mind if I do!" Peach cheered and kneeled down to eat the grass.

"Alright guys...here it is...the house of 1000 corpses...oh wait, that's a different house." Mario said. He knocked on the door and waited for a response.

38126348 seconds later, someone answered the door. They all gasped at who it was, except for Peach who was still eating grass.

"Oh my god...IT'S ROSALINA!" Everyone screamed, except for Peach of course.

"Wait a second, how can Rosalina be there when she's right over...there!" Toadette pointed to the other Rosalina.

The other Rosalina sighed and zipped down her costume from the back and got out of it. Everyone gasped...except for Peach of course.

"OH EM GEE, IT'S BOWSER JR.!" Everyone screamed at the same time.

"Grrrrrr! And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling adults!" Bowser Jr. pouted.

"Wait, why were you disguised as Rosalina in the first place?" Birdo asked.

"So I can steal Peach's iPod! I've been begging for my dad to get me one, but he says I can't have it until I'm 30!" Bowser Jr. complained.

"Okay...? And we should care, why?" Waluigi asked.

"You're boring me. Bye bye." Dixie said, getting out her rocket launcher and blasted Bowser Jr. into a pile of dust.

"...ANYWAYS! Now, REAL Rosalina, why did you send Godzilla out to attack Mushroom City?" Mario interrogated.

"What are you talking about? I didn't do anything that involved Godzilla...yet..." Rosalina smirked.

"Okay, we believe you. See you tomorrow, Rosalina!" Daisy said and waved.

"Hasta luego!" Rosalina said in Spanish.

Everyone gasped at what she said.

"OH MY GOD, ROSALINA SPOKE ANOTHER LANGUAGE!" Toad screamed.

"GET OUT OF OUR COUNTRY, FOREIGNER!" Dixie yelled, charging up her rocket launcher and blasted Rosalina into a pile of dust.

"Now that Rosalina is taken care of, who do we interrogate next for the Godzilla mayhem?" Tiny asked.

"I know just the guy!" Peach answered, her mouth full of grass.

Peach brought everyone to another house, but it didn't seem as mysterious this time which made everyone nervous for some reason.

Peach banged on the door and waited.

The door opened and out came Toadsworth.

"What the heck do you guys want? Can't you see I'm busy here!" He yelled.

"Um...not really." Yoshi answered.

"Alright Toadsworth, give it up, we all know you sent Godzilla to Mushroom City to destroy everything, including the Pancake Factory! CONFESS NOW OR ELSE I'LL...DO SOMETHING EXTREME AND WEIRD!" Daisy yelled, trying to seem threatening but failed.

"Why would I do that for? What proof do you have?" Toadsworth asked.

"This is mafia. We don't need proof." Wario said and put on sunglasses to make himself look cool.

"Shut it, Wario!" Toadette yelled, slapping him in the face.

"Well...you see...we don't exactly have any proof...heh heh..." Luigi blushed.

"Then you are simply wasting my time. GOOD DAY!" Toadsworth said and slammed the door on Peach's foot.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Peach screamed so loud that Planet Jupiter exploded into a billion pieces.

After a few more hours of interrogating various people, the Mario Crew decided to take a break and have dinner at Burger Queen.

"OH EM GEE THIS SHAKE IS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD!" Rosalina squealed in a fangirlish way.

"What the hell? When did you get here?" Wario tragically asked.

"39 minutes ago." Rosalina responded.

"So let's see here...if the person who made Godzilla come crashing through Mushroom City isn't Rosalina, Toadsworth, Wiggler, Dora The Explorer, Spongebob Squarepants, Shigeru Miyamoto or Your Mother then who the heck could it be?" Luigi said.

"Well it can't be Bowser since Bowser is too smart to have Godzilla destroy the city. It has to be someone who's stupid...someone who always gets defeated by a short guy no matter what...someone who's evil plans always fail...and someone who thinks they're so evil, but they're really just a joke." Luigi said, thinking hard.

"Ooh! I've got it, I've got it! It has to be...DOCTOR EGGMAN!" Diddy cheered.

"OH MY GOSH! OF COURSE! We are so stupid! Doctor Eggman...it has to be him! It makes perfect sense! We need to go over to Planet Earth to stop him!" Toad cried anime style.

"BUT WAIT! How are we suppose to get to Earth anyway? Should we just sprout wings and fly there?" DK asked.

"Nah, only pigs can do that. I think I know where a teleporter is that can teleport us to Earth. Follow me everyone!" Luigi gestured.

"NO!" Everyone yelled at once.

"Wh-wh-what? Bu-but why?" Luigi stuttered in shock.

"Just kidding Luigi, of course we'll follow you. But let's finish up our food first, okay?" They all said at the exact time, which brought chills down Luigi's spine.

After all that, Luigi lead the group through Death Plains where meteors hit the area every 30 seconds.

"Okay guys, we're almost there! Oh, and watch out for the falling meteors. We don't want anyone to die!" Luigi said.

"Or do we?" Wario snickered evilly.

"Well I know I do." Toadette said.

"GASP!" Everyone gasped and turned towards Toadette.

"Just a joke, just a joke!" Toadette said in defense.

"Oh okay. That makes everything better then. Now Luigi, where is this teleporter at?" Peach asked in tragedy.

"Over there, by Bowser's Castle!" Luigi pointed out.

"OH MY GOSH! I NEVER KNEW BOWSER LIVED HERE! Let's pay him a visit before we go to Earth!" Daisy squealed.

"But I don't wanna!" DK complained.

"WELL TOO BAD!" Daisy screamed, attempting to slap DK but for some reason, she slapped herself instead.

"INCOMING!" Mario yelled, pointing at the falling meteor that was getting closer to them. Everyone scrambled except for Toad who just stood there.

"Ooh! That's a pretty rock! Hey, why is it getting clo-"

BOOM!

The meteor impacted into Toad and exploded, killing Toad and everything within a .500000 mile radius.

"Oh my god! Is Toad alright?" Birdo asked.

"Does he LOOK alright, Birdo? DOES HE LOOK ALRIGHT?" Diddy yelled.

"...Maybe..." Birdo responded dramatically/sexily/crazily/weirdly.

"Eh, I'm sure he'll be fine. Toad is a strong boy, even stronger than your typical Goomba! Now let's go be nice people and visit Bowser shall we?" Mario gestured and they all skipped to Bowser's Castle.

KNOCK KNOCK!

"What the? Who in the world could be knocking on my door?" Bowser said, running to the door. He opened it and gasped as he saw Mario and his friends right there in front of them.

"Hi Bowser! We just wanted to pay you a visit and see how things are going!" Peach said in an extremely cheesy way.

"Oh! Um...I-I'm fine yeah! You don't need to worry about me so just...um...go back to what you were doing heh heh..." Bowser awkwardly said, trying not to let them see what was inside.

"Oh my gosh, Bowser! You're sweating like a pig! That's not healthy! Here, let me come inside so I can cool you down by dumping zero degree water all over you!" Daisy said and walked in.

"NO WAIT! THAT'S HIGHLY UNNECESSARY!" Bowser screamed in slight angst/anger/humor/supernatural.

"Hey! Is that a machine in there that looks highly advanced and possibly suspicious? I WANNA SEE IT!" Toadette playfully said and ran inside.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU MUSTN'T DO THAT!" Bowser roared.

"EEEEEEEEK! I SMELL FRENCH TOAST! I LOVE FRENCH TOAST! I'M COMING FOR YOU, FRENCH TOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAST!" Yoshi shrieked and also ran inside.

"GOD FREAKING DAM...ERRR, I MEAN, TARTER SAUCE!" Bowser yelled.

"You must calm down, Bowser. You are awfully aggressive for someone that has a secretly low self-esteem on himself. Here, let's sit you down." Mario said, trying to talk professionally. Everyone pushed Bowser to the couch of the living room.

"Hey Bowser! Is this machine suppose to be mainly for controls or something? Because all I see are buttons here and some screen too!" Toadette said.

"IF YOU DARE TOUCH THAT I WILL CUT...I MEAN...UHH...I'LL DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY INSANE AND MAGICAL!" Bowser screamed, trying to keep everything as PG Rated as possible.

"STOP SCREAMING! IT'S MAKING MY HEAD HURT!" Birdo screamed.

"Now Bowser, just lay down and relax. Daisy will be back in a minute with the zero degree temperature water." Peach said.

"NO! I AM NOT GONNA HAVE ICE COLD WATER POURED ON ME! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Bowser screamed.

"House? I thought this place was a castle?" Waluigi asked.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Bowser roared, which shook the entire castle.

"Hey Bowser, why is this machine thing here called "Control Panel for The Godzilla-sized Metal Robot Bowser That Will Destroy The Mushroom Kingdom"? Don't you think that name is a little too long?" Toadette asked.

Bowser just facepalmed himself in response.

Then, someone ran in to the room.

"Hey guys! I'm still alive! It's a miracle!" Toad cheered.

"No one cares." Wario replied in disgust.

Toad was so shocked by Wario's rudeness that he had a heart attack and died again.

"Alright Bowser! I have the water!" Daisy said, carrying a bucket of ice water.

"NOOOOOO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Bowser yelled, kicking the bucket of ice water onto the control panel. Everything on the panel zapped and exploded like crazy. There soon was a fire starting from it and before they knew it, the entire panel was destroyed.

"! MY CREATION! IT'S GONE!" Bowser cried.

"Oh well, you'll survive!" Tiny said.

"Shoot! It's getting late, you guys! We better get to the teleporter now or else the rush hour will happen where all the monsters from the Silent Hill series will come from nowhere and try to eat us!" Luigi said.

"Okay...that made no sense at all...which is good..." Diddy mystically said.

"Bye Bowser! We'll see you later!" Mario said and they all waved at him.

"HEY WAIT A SECOND! WHERE'S MY PINK HAT AT?" Dixie screamed and looked around all over for it. She then noticed that it was right by where Bowser was.

"YOU! YOU STOLE MY PINK HAT! I AM GONNA KILL YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Dixie screamed and got out her rocket launcher.

"What? I didn't steal your hat! I don't even like the color pink! ...Okay, that's a lie, I DO like the color pink, but why would I steal a hat for?" Bowser said.

But Dixie didn't listen and shot Bowser, who then exploded, which for some reason, made the entire castle explode, which for some reason, made the entire country explode, which for some reason, made the entire planet explode, which for some reason...no wait, that's it.

And they all lived happily ever after!

In the afterlife of course.

EOC.

So, how did you like it? It feels refreshing to do a different genre. Please review.


	2. When Pikachus Attack

A familiar person walked into a TV News-like room and stared into the camera.

"Hello. My name is Rosalina. You may also know me as Rosetta, Queen of the Sugar Plum Fairies. Today, I want to discuss an important problem that is currently on the rise in our beloved Mushroom Kingdom. Most of you don't know what to do...

**...WHEN PIKACHUS ATTACK!**" Rosalina said over-dramatically. The audience screamed anime style.

"Now, I'm sure most of you are familiar with these cute, furry, sunshine-colored rodents that have appeared in the infamous Pokemon series. But who knew something so cute can be so freaking deadly? Caught on video tape, you are about to actually witness some of these actual events just as they actually happen." Rosalina said. Then, a video played on a TV screen that was connected to the wall in the back.

The video showed Wario in a car with Waluigi holding the video camera, filming Wario. They were on the freeway.

"Keep your eye on the right side of the screen, please." Rosalina ordered.

_"Hey Wario, can we pull over? I need to use the bathroom!" Waluigi said._

_"WHAT? You already used the bathroom 20 minutes ago! Why do you need to go again?" Wario asked._

_"Because I drank too much water back at McDonalds!" Waluigi answered._

_"Why didn't you get soda then?" Wario asked._

_"Because soda is overrated!" Waluigi supernaturally complained._

_"Oh yeah? WELL YOUR FACE IS OVERRATED!" Wario insulted._

_"YOUR MOM IS OVERRATED!" Waluigi shouted back._

_"YOUR...HAT IS OVERRATED!" Wario said, thinking of anything he could use for a comeback._

_"YOUR MUSTACHE IS OVERRATED!"_

_Wario gasped._

_"THAT'S IT! WE ARE STOPPING THIS CAR RIGHT NOW OR MY NAME ISN'T WARIO MCPHERSON!" Wario yelled and slammed on the break._

_"Hey wait a second, what the heck is that?" Waluigi said, having the video camera show outside the car._

_"Looks like a bunch of yellow mice if you ask me." Wario replied._

_"Oh my gosh, I think those are Pikachus! Coooooooooooooool!" Waluigi said fanboyishly._

_"What the heck are Pikachus doing here...?" Wario question._

_Suddenly, everyone saw from the video camera the unthinkable happen. A big group of Pikachus crowded over their car and started bashing in the windows._

_"AHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT ARE THEY DOING?" Wario screamed like a girl._

_"THEY'RE TRYING TO BREAK IN, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE DOING! CALL 911!" Waluigi screamed._

_"I CAN'T MY PHONE IS DEAD!" Wario screamed back._

_"OH, WELL HOW CONVENIENT! MINE IS DEAD TOO! WHOOP-DEE-DOO!" Waluigi yelled and banged his head repeatedly against the front of the inside of the car._

_The camera showed the Pikachus breaking in through the windows and the girly screams of Wario and Waluigi were heard as the millions of Pikachus flooded their car and started beating and electrocuting them like crazy._

The audience turned their heads away in shock and fear.

The video ended and Rosalina turned back to the audience.

"It sickens me to death to see people getting beaten and damaged so brutally. So let's watch it again in slow motion." Rosalina said and turned back to the TV.

The video rewinded to the part where the Pikachus started coming into the car.

"As you can see, the two weirdo brothers could not even stand a chance against the hundreds of fierce, terrifying and dangerous Pikachus. Where is Team Rocket when you need them?" Rosalina said.

The video ended again and it cut to an interview of Wario and Waluigi in a small room. They looked beaten and parts of their skin were ashy due to the intense electrocution.

"I...I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND! THEY CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND STARTED TO BEAT US UP! WHHHHYYYYYY?" Wario yelled in anger/drama/mystery/awkwardness.

"I got electrocuted 7 freaking times! I'M SURPRISED I'M NOT EVEN DEAD BY NOW!" Waluigi said and started to cry.

"I told you we should've brought my bazooka in case of an emergency!" Wario yelled.

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSE TO KNOW A HOARD OF PIKACHUS WERE GONNA ATTACK US, YOU WIDELOAD?" Waluigi yelled back.

The interview video ended there and Rosalina turned back to the audience.

"Those poor, creepy losers. Now, here is another video that was sent in just yesterday, show casing yet another attack that happened on an innocent girl." Rosalina said and turned back to watch the video on the back TV.

The video started and it showed Toadette, filming herself with her video camera, walking home from school.

_"Hey hey hey! I'm bored so I decided to tape myself walking home. I'm taking a trail that goes right by Pleasant Path because it's a shortcut. Anyways, it's such a beautiful day today! The sun is shining, there are no clouds, the weather is amazing and I surprisingly haven't got pooped on by a bird yet!" Toadette said, filming the scenery all around her._

"Now, keep your eye on the left side of the screen." Rosalina said.

_"Woah! What is that over there?" Toadette asked, pointing the camera to the left where a big field was. The camera showed a huge crowd of yellow creatures coming toward her._

_"Oh my gosh, ARE THOSE PIKACHUS? HOLY GUACAMOLE! This is sooooo exciting!" Toadette cheered._

"But what this girl doesn't know is that she's about to get a real Pikachu Pummeling." Rosalina commented.

_The Pikachu crowd got closer and closer to Toadette._

_"Wait a second...they all look angry...and they're all looking at me...should I run?" Toadette asked herself._

_But before she could make a decision, it was too late as the Pikachu crowd lunged at her, knocked her to the ground and attacked her._

_"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SOMEBODY HELP ME! THIS FEELS SO UNCOMFORTABLE! NOOOOO! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY FEET! THEY ARE VERY SENSITIVE! AAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Toadette screamed bloody murder as the video camera dropped a few inches from her and showed her being attacked and beaten in a really cynical and/or spiritual way._

The video ended and Rosalina turned back to the audience.

"It gives me nightmares just to see tragic events such as this. So let's watch it again, in slow motion." She said and turned back to the TV as the video rewinded and stopped at the part where the Pikachus started to lunge at her.

"Even if the poor girl wanted to run, she would have no chance of escape against the army of Pikachus...well, unless she had a sub-machine or a bazooka of course." Rosalina said.

The video continued playing in slow motion as everyone saw Toadette getting attacked and beaten. Everyone didn't know whether to laugh, cry or just be afraid.

The video ended and it cut to an interview of Toadette, who had bruises all over her body and had a cast on my arm.

"Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! IT WAS SO AWFUL! I just wanted to pet the cute little pikachus, but what happens? THEY BEAT ME UP AND ELECTROCUTE ME OVER 9000 TIMES! It was like I was in a horror movie...or a Sci-fi movie! I am NEVER playing Pokemon again! I'm gonna burn every single Pokemon game I own and let my dog eat the remains!" Toadette cried and a waterfall of tears come out of her eyes which put a huge stain on the carpet, which will certainly upset the janitor.

The video ended and Rosalina turned back to the crowd.

"...And she will never, ever be the same. Never. Now, if you happen to witness an attack by a hoard of Pikachus, please call our emergency hotline: 1-800-I-Just-Saw-A-Bunch-Of-Pikachus-That-Came-Out-Of-Nowhere-And-Attack-Some-Random-People-So-I'm-Calling-This-Number-To-Report-What-I-Saw. Thank you and-"

"PIKACHUUUUUUUUUU!" A bunch of Pikachus yelled, coming into the room.

"What the...OH SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" Rosalina screamed as she ran for her life. And soon, the Pikachu Navy invaded the entire room and attacked the audience members and the camera crew and destroyed the entire news set.

EOC.

I want to give credit and thanks to 'The Amanda Show' for this chapter. This is one of my favorite skits from that show, so I just HAD to do a little spin-off of it. Please review!


	3. The SM64 Auditions

If Super Mario 64 was a movie, this is how the audition process would go...

The director sat down in a chair in a small, white room and laid out the movie script in front of him. He waited patiently for the first person to come in the room.

Mario nervously entered the room.

"Um...can you tell me why I have to audition for a movie that's about ME?" Mario asked.

"Do you want to be in the movie or not?" The director furiously asked.

"MAMMA MIA! YES YES YES! MY APOLOGIES!" Mario shrieked. He then took out the script and started reading.

"Err...oh no...the...uh...princess is kidnapped! I have to s-save her! She might, um, be at, like, her castle but not Bowser's Castle since that'd be too oblivious...I MEAN OBVIOUS! OBVIOUS!" Mario freaked.

"NEXT!" The director yelled.

* * *

><p>"Wooooooooooooo!" Tiny Kong screamed, showing off her pony tail twirl move but accidentally flew into a bunch of props.<p>

"NEXT!"

* * *

><p>"Hi! My name is Toadette and I'm auditioning for the part of-"<p>

"NEXT!"

* * *

><p>"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE YOU FAT COW! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS! YOU AND YOUR BRATTY KIDS! IF I HAD A COIN FOR EVERY TIME THIS HAPPENED, I'D HAVE 74294284927 COINS, GIVE OR TAKE A COIN!" Daisy screamed.<p>

The director was flabbergasted and even kind of weirded out by Daisy's overacting.

"So when do I get the part?" Daisy asked with a cheesy smile.

"NEXT!"

* * *

><p>"Hey brother, we should do something to help Mario! We can't just let him go into the castle and fight Bowser all by his lonesome!" Wario read out loud.<p>

"Why not? He defeated Bowser all those times and had to go through multiple toads saying "Your princess is in another castle!". Don't you remember?" Waluigi said.

"Oh yeah! That's true. Hmm. Oh well. Wanna go get a smoothie?" Wario asked.

"Heck yeah! But if they don't have my favorite, then I'm suing the company!" Waluigi said.

The director's jaw was hanging open. He was stunned. Shocked. Speechless. Speckledorfed.

"My god...THAT WAS AMAZING! BEST AUDITION I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!" The director cheered and clapped.

"Wow! You really think so?" Waluigi asked in excitement.

"HELL NO! NOW GET OUT OF HERE!" The director yelled. Wario and Waluigi's dreams were now completely shattered.

"NEXT!"

* * *

><p>"Hello there Mario. I am your conscience. Please do not be afraid of me as I'm not here to harm you. I want to tell you that you've got a long way to go ahead, but with faith and courage, you can definitely make it...along with an overload of 1-UP Mushrooms." Birdo said.<p>

"Good, good. Now we'll start the next line reading on page 105." Said the director and flipped to the page.

"Errr, there is no page 105 in my script..." Birdo said in confusion.

The director dropped his script. "Excuse me?"

"Umm...there is no page 105." Birdo said again.

"Wh-wh-wh-what did you say?" He stuttered. Birdo started to get nervous.

"Page 105. It's not in the script!"

The director clenched his fist and suddenly got an angry look on his face.

"Is something the matter?" Birdo said in even more nervousness.

"NO PAGE 105? HOW THE HELL IS THERE NOT A DAMN PAGE 105? I PUT THE FREAKING PAGE IN THAT SCRIPT AND YOU'RE TELLING ME THERE'S NO 105? RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He roared.

"HOLY SHOOTING STARS!" Birdo screamed and got the heck out of there.

"NEXT!"

* * *

><p>Petey Piranha came waltzing in the room.<p>

"Hallo! Is this where I audition?" Petey asked.

"No, this is where you buy slime monsters for 50% off. OF COURSE THIS IS WHERE YOU AUDITION!" The director yelled, obviously in a bad mood.

"SLIME MONSTERS? I WANT SOME! GIMME GIMME!" Petey cheered and jumped up and down.

"Sigh...I knew I should've been a waiter instead..." The director whispered, facepalming himself. "ANYWAYS! Let's start this off. What character are you auditioning for?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...weeeeeellllllll...I dunno." Petey said in confusion.

The director tried to hold his anger in. "Well since you're a PIRANHA, I assume you want to audition for the character, "The Sleepy Piranha Plant"?"

"Oh yeah! I do! How did you know?" Petey said in excitement.

"Because I'm actually smart...unlike some people here..." He whispered the latter then got out the script. "Alright, your part starts on page 26, first line on the page."

Petey turned to the page and started reading.

"Man, I am so tired! I suppose it wouldn't hurt to take a nap. I mean, it's not like someone's gonna try to destroy me while I'm asleep, all defenseless and such. Yes. I'll just lay here in the grass and..."

"...Yes? Why have you stopped reading?"

"And..."

"Is everything alright?"

"...?"

"HELLO! ANSWER ME!"

**"BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPP!"**

Petey burped so loud that the entire building shook.

"Woo! That was the biggest burp I ever had in my entire life. I guess I shouldn't have drank all of that Diet Cacti-Cola! Hahaha!" Petey laughed.

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! NEXT NEXT NEXT!"

* * *

><p>Rosalina came walking in.<p>

"Um, hello? I'm here to audition for the role of Princess Peach?" She nervously said.

"Ah, yes. You are Rolasina Star, correct?" The director asked.

"It's Rosalina. And yes, that would be correct." She answered.

"...Well then. Alright Rolas- I mean Rosalina, let's start on page 89, the very bottom line." He ordered. Rosalina turned to the respective page and the director started reading.

"So that's it then? You're just gonna give in to Bowser's needs?"

"Well I don't have any other choice! Mario is defeated, the Toads are helpless, and there's nothing more that I could do! The stars have failed me!"

"Peach...I am extremely disappointed in you. This is just a joke to you! You went through hell and back trying to save yourself so Mario at the least wouldn't have to worry if you're still alive. But now you're just standing here, saying you wanna 'give up'? Is that how you want your friends to see you, Peach? HUH? Do you want your friends to see you as the dumb blonde who wears the same pink dress every single day and can't even bother to get some DANG protection around her castle? HUH?"

"Um...that's not in the script..."

"This is suppose to be serious, you know. But you're just over there moping around, trying to straighten your hair with your 10 inch-long fingernails and you have the AUDACITY to tell me that you just wanna give up?"

"Where is this in the script?"

"You shouldn't even call yourself a princess! You're an ultimate disgrace! You think that just because you're oh so pretty and are super rich, that you could just sit there, give up, and pretend everything will be okay just because your life is good? HELL TO THE NO! You've got a LOOOOOOOOOOONG way to go, little girl!"

"WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING MY QUESTION?"

"Be quiet Peach!"

"WHO ARE YOU TELLING TO BE QUIET?"

"I SAID BE QUIET!"

"I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE!"

"What is the matter with you?"

"I should be asking you the same-"

"STOP IT!"

Rosalina backed away in fear and started to cry.

"I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE YELLED AT A GIRL LIKE THIS! WHEN MY PET WIGGLER YELLS AT ME LIKE THIS, IT'S BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME! WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU, HOW DARE YOU! LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS! WHEN YOU GO TO BED AT NIGHT, YOU LAY THERE AND YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF CAUSE NOBODY'S GONNA TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOU. YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES CAUSE YOU'RE ACTING LIKE YOU HEARD THIS ALL BEFORE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE HELL I COME FROM, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH! BUT I'M NOT A VICTIM, I GROW FROM IT, I LEARN. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF!"

Rosalina was crying her eyes out. "You are so weird and inconsiderate! I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU!"

She then ran out the room, still crying.

"NEXT!"

* * *

><p>Yellow Toad came in the room.<p>

"Oshieteageru?" He asked.

"Excuse me?" The director responded.

"Oshieteageru?" He repeated.

"Uhh...me no speak whatever language you be speaking in!"

"Hora me sete ageru!" He yelled.

"NEXT!"

"KAMOCHA NI KARU!"

"I SAID NEXT!"

"SUGO SO NI NONINARU?"

"SECURITY!"

"TORIKO NI NARU!"

"SECURITY, IF YOU DON'T GET IN HERE IN 5 SECONDS, AN EXPLOSION OF CHAOS AND POSSIBLY BLOODSHED WILL HAPPEN IN HERE!"

"Konokiki nario!" The yellow Toad exited the room himself.

"Geez, does a foreigner REALLY expect to be in an ENGLISH SPEAKING MOVIE when he can't even speak ENGLISH? I swear, people these days...NEXT!"

* * *

><p>Goombella came in the room.<p>

"And what the hell do you want?" He asked rudely. Goombella was surprised by the sudden rudeness from the director.

"Um...I'm here to audition for the part of Goomba, the enemy!" She answered.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA! OH MY GOD! PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ME LAUGH!" The director laughed hard and almost fell out of his chair.

"What the heck is so funny?" Goombella asked, already getting ticked off by the second.

"Do you really think that you, a pink-colored female goomba, will be able to get the part of your typical enemy Goomba?"

"Well...maybe! I mean, if I try hard enough then surely I'll be able to get it!"

"Yeah, IN YOUR DREAMS! NEXT!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? You can't do this to me! This is unfair!"

"Excuse me, I'm the director! What I say, goes!"

"Grrrrrrrrrr...YOU SEXIST! SEXIST SEXIST SEXIST! OH LOOK AT ME, I'M A BOSSY, IGNORANT DIRECTOR AND I DON'T BELIEVE THAT WOMEN SHOULD GET THE SAME EQUALITY THAT MEN SHOULD AND BLABBY BLABBY BLABBITY BLAH BLAH BLAAAHHHHHHH!" Goombella angrily screamed and stomped off.

"Sigh...wannabe actors. Always trying to make it seem like the world revolves around them. NEXT!"

EOC.

This was inspired by the Donkey Kong 64 secret ending. Please review.


	4. Doors of Doom

Daisy woke up in a small, enclosed chamber. She stood up and checked her surroundings. All there was in the chamber were two doors that had the letter L on the left door and the letter R on the right door. There was also a statue head of Bowser with light coming out of its eyes that illuminated the room.

"Okay, what the heck is going on? How did I end up in this place? I remember watching re-runs of Tocko's Modern Life, but I don't remember anything after that...weird. I'm really craving spaghetti for some reason." Daisy said.

"START!" Said a female voice from the great beyond.

"HUH? WHO'S THERE? WHO ARE YOU! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON HERE! IF I DON'T GET AN ANSWER SOON, I'M GONNA BLOW THIS PLACE DOWN WITH ONE OF THOSE SPECIAL BOMBS THAT YOU SEE IN STAR FOX 64! Oh wait a second, what am I talking about? I don't even HAVE those kind of bombs with me at the moment! ...Actually, I don't even think I have them at all! Where the heck have I been for the past decade?" Daisy said.

Suddenly, music was heard throughout the room.

"Where is that coming from, now? Wait...how is that even possible? How can I hear music that loud when there's no open spaces in this room except for the doors? This is seriously creeping me out. I feel like I'm on that show, 'Scare Tactics' or whatever. Well...anyways, I suppose I better choose a door. I get the feeling that one of these doors leads to safety and the other leads to impending doom. I hope I'm wrong though. Not the safety part, the doom part. Okay, I should just stop talking to myself because this is getting to be awkward."

Daisy randomly chose the right door. She opened it and hurried in.

She then came to another room that looked like the room she was just in, except this room was more dimmer.

"Oh! That was easier than I thought! But...seriously now? Another room? And why is Bowser's face on the wall? That's so random. I doubt Bowser of all people could come up with a crazy plan like this. So anyways...uhh...eenie, meenie, minie...oh screw it, I'll just choose the left door!"

Daisy opened the left door and ran on in.

She came to another identical room, only this one was more brighter.

"OH COME ON! ANOTHER ROOM? This is getting to be annoying. And that music isn't helping either, wherever the hell it's coming from. This reminds of Legend of Zelda for some reason. I don't know why, it just does. So...err...I'll just pick the left door again. No, the right door! No wait...left. No, right! DANGIT DAISY, MAKE UP YOUR OWN FREAKING MIND! Okay, I will, jeeze! I'll take the left door. Good, I was about to suggest that. Congratulations." Daisy argued with herself.

She took the left door and went in.

She came to another dimly-litted room.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? ANOTHER ROOM? How many rooms are in this place? This is insane. I'm getting the feeling that there's a hidden camera in each of these rooms, broadcasting live to an audience and I'm being laughed at as I speak. Or I'm just being delusional. Sigh...well, I guess I better go then. I guess right it is."

Daisy opened the door only to see a familiar figure run right to her.

"SURPRISE PARTY!" Bowser yelled.

"HOLY FREAKING #)$%)&!#%$$&#!)$!$&)!" Daisy screamed in a language currently not known to man. She then ran for her life.

And what happened after that, you ask? Well...let's just say that it involves...'controversial' stuff...I'll leave it up to your imagination.

EOC.

RANT: This chapter was based on Doors of Doom from MP4, in case you haven't figured that out already. This is one of the things that frustrated me in the game. It relies purely on luck and that's it. Were the developers on crack when they created this mini-game? Did they really think that everyone who played this mini-game would get very far? Hell no.

End annoying rant.

Also, look out for the next chapter as it will be the longest one yet, but I also think it will be the funniest!


	5. The Wa Machine

Mario and the gang were walking their way to E. Gadd's place because E. Gadd called them up so they can check out his newest invention.

"UGH! Are we there yet? My feet are killing me!" Daisy complained.

"We've only been walking for 5 minutes." DK said.

"OH MY GOD! DK CAN TALK? HOLY PANCAKES!" Waluigi screamed.

"...In OTHER news..." Toad said, then a laugh track played.

"Where the hell did that come from? Are we being stalked?" Rosalina said in fear.

"If we are, then I've got my bazooka ready to fire! OH YEAH BABY! DIXIE KONG IS UNSTOPPABLE!" Dixie cheered. Everyone stared at her like she was some delusional freak.

"...So anyways..." Peach said, hoping that the same laugh track would play, but failed. "HUH? What the heck, man? Why didn't anyone laugh at my line?"

"Because you're just not funny, Peach. No one ever takes you un-seriously. And I hope that's a word because if it isn't, then I'm gonna drink a gallon of mustard." Birdo said.

"Well forget you guys then! I'm going back to the castle to play some Megaman!" Peach said, then flipped her hair like she was some hot stuff.

Everyone gasped heavily. Wario gasped so heavily that his brain almost blew out.

"Did you just say...you were gonna play Megaman?" Mario asked threateningly.

"...Yes. Why?" Peach asked.

"HOW DARE YOU PLAY A GAME THAT IS NOT MARIO RELATED? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN? WE SHOULD FEED YOU TO THE CHEEP-CHEEPS, RECORD IT ON CAMERA, AND UPLOAD IT ON YOUTUBE AND THEN LAUGH AT YOUR DEMISE WHILE I'M A MOTHER FRIGGIN MONSTA UP IN THIS HOUZE OF DEREON JEANS WITH ROBOT DUCKS QUACKIN' LIKE THEY OWN THE PLACE ALONG WITH PRINCE SHAPA LAPA MOONA AND HIS DAUGHTER ECLAIR TWOBUCKSFORMYPEARLYNECKLACE!" Yoshi satanically screamed.

"I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T KNOW! PLEASE SPARE ME!" Peach cried.

"Too late. You must die." Dixie said, blasting Peach away with her bazooka.

"AHHHH TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN, DING!" Peach yelled as she flew across the country and landed in a pit of roaches and jelly.

"Well that takes care of that! Now let's get to E. Gadd's shall we?" Luigi gestured. Everyone started walking again, until they heard rustling in the bushes.

"Now what could that be?" Toadette asked.

"It's either A. Jason Voorhees, B. A wild animal, C. A talking banana, D. A homeless person or E. All of the above." Diddy said.

"I choose E!" Toad said.

"Oh yeah? Well I choose F, the hidden option!" Tiny said. Everyone gasped anime style.

"Oh hell to the no! You did NOT just go there!" Birdo said, clearly intimidated by Tiny's wit.

"Excuse me?" Tiny said to Birdo, crossing her arms.

"You're excused." Birdo replied with a smirk.

"Oh snap! Cat fight!" Wario cheered.

"That's it, someone, hold my beanie hat! I'm about to go off on this wannabe dinosaur!" Tiny yelled, throwing off her rainbow-colored beanie hat.

"WANNABE DINOSAUR? You just crossed the line there! Prepare for a beating you'll never forget!" Birdo said, getting in a fighting stance.

"Guys guys guys! Calm yourselves! Violence is never the answer! ...Well, almost never." Peach said as she came from the bushes.

"What the heck? Didn't we blast you off billions of meters away?" Diddy asked.

"Oh, that? That girl was just a clone. It was a test to see if my newest clone would work!" Peach said in excitement.

"I can only imagine what I would do if I had a billion clones of myself..." Waluigi said with an evil smirk and started to laugh.

"Can we stop wasting time here and get to E. Gadd's already? Sheesh, even my pet Tarantula gets less distracted than you guys!" Mario criticized.

"WHY I NEVER!" Rosalina pouted.

After a few more minutes, the group finally made it to E. Gadd's house and Luigi knocked on the door.

The door opened and out came E. Gadd.

"I have been waiting for all of you..." He mysteriously said.

"No duh. Let us in! It's hot out here!" Daisy complained.

"...But it's cloudy..." Yoshi pointed out.

"Y U SO STUPID, DAISY?" Birdo yelled out the one thing that everyone was thinking.

"Fine, fine! Come inside! Or else!" E. Gadd said. Everyone was frightened by this and rampaged to get inside. They didn't want to know what the "Or else" meant from someone like E. Gadd...

"Now follow me. The invention is this way." Everyone nodded and followed the professor through a hall. They entered through a doorway and went through another hall. They turned right and went down an even longer hall. They turned left and went down an extremely long hall. They turned left again and went down a twisty-turny hall like that one in Majora's Mask. They then entered a room full of AKB48 posters (Japanese Pop Girl group for those of you who don't know), and everyone wondered what the hell could E. Gadd want with all of these. They entered another room with nothing in it except something big in the middle covered by a pink sheet and a big pink mouse right next to it.

"Oh. My. Gosh. IS THAT A PIKACHU? HOLY FISHPASTE!" Dixie squealed.

"Why, yes it is!" E. Gadd answered.

"Hey wait a second, why is it pink-colored? Did it just roll itself in pink paint or something?" Toad asked.

"That's a very good question my dear Toad. You see, this Pikachu is extremely rare. It's been said that there is only one pink Pikachu that exists in the universe and I just so happened to find it a while ago. How lucky am I?" E. Gadd said in excitement.

"Wouldn't it be called Pinkachu instead of Pikachu? You know, cause that makes more sense." Mario said.

"...I suppose."

"Does he bite? Is he more powerful than your average Pikachu?" DK asked.

"I'm not sure yet. I still need to run tests on him. But now, back to my invention! I've been working on this for years now and it's FINALLY complete! I bring to you...THE WA MACHINE!" E. Gadd announced, taking the pink sheet off of it.

It looked just like a regular washing machine, only bigger.

Everyone wasn't impressed.

"...THE WA MACHINE!" E. Gadd announced again.

"We heard you the first time." Wario said, annoyed.

"A washing machine. You've been working on a washing machine for years. That is...AMAZING! I admire your hard work and dedication!" Toadette congratulated.

"So I'm guessing this thing can...well, you know, do the same thing that a regular washing machine does? And why is this called The "Wa Machine"?" Diddy said.

"Oh no no no! It does much more than you think! And why it's called the 'Wa Machine', you ask? Heh heh heh...you're about to find out." E. Gadd evilly smirked and laughed.

"I'm getting the feeling that either something bad is gonna happen or E. Gadd likes to intentionally creep people out." Yoshi said.

"Pikachu! Pika-pi!" Pinkachu yelled.

"SHUT UP! NO ONE ASKED YOU TO TALK!" E. Gadd yelled.

"Woah, calm down! Don't take your anger out on Pinkachu! If anything, take it out on Wario!" Daisy said.

"Thanks Daisy. Remind me not to let you borrow my 3DS ever again." Wario said.

"Um...anyways! I'm gonna need a volunteer for this. Oh Toad! Thank you so much for volunteering! You're such a good sport!" E. Gadd said and dragged Toad to the machine.

"But I didn't say I would do it though!" Toad complained.

"Well, telepathically you said it. Now in there you go!" E. Gadd shoved Toad in to the machine and closed the door. "Now watch this!" E. Gadd pressed a big red button and the machine started rumbling like crazy.

"You guys, this doesn't look good! We should do something!" Luigi gasped.

"Ooh! I've got an idea!" Waluigi said. He ran over to the Pinkachu and threw him at E. Gadd, which knocked him across the room.

"...THAT WAS YOUR IDEA? MAN! I AM SO DONE WITH LIFE!" Peach screamed over-dramatically and strangled herself to the death.

"Um...okay then...that was really random..." Dixie commented.

Peach came walking in the room.

"Gotcha! That was another clone!" Peach demonically laughed.

"How DARE you harm me? Just for that, you are ALL going into the Wa Machine!" E. Gadd threatened.

"Not if I have something to do about it!" DK said and walked in front of the group.

"What are you gonna do, DK?" Yoshi asked.

"Beat him up, obviously! What else would I do?" DK said.

"Well I thought you would just jump all over the place and make loud monkey noises like the maniac ape you are." Wario said.

"Naw, I don't wanna be a stereotype." DK replied.

The Wa Machine stopped rumbling.

"Aha! It's done!" E. Gadd jumped in excitement and went to it.

"I swear to god, if Toad ends up looking like...like a...uh...um...something that doesn't look like Toad, I will...uhh...errr...do something...incredibly...evil and...hypnotic...and possibly robotic..." Toadette said with uncertainty.

"I'm not threatened by a puny Toad girl that dresses as Sailor Moon on the weekends!" E. Gadd said.

"GASP! MY SECRET IDENTITY!" Toadette shrieked.

"Now...I introduce you to WATOAD!" E. Gadd opened the door and out jumped Toad.

"FINALLY I'M OUT! IT WAS SO HOT IN THERE! IT FELT LIKE I WAS TRAPPED IN AN OVEN THAT HAD TURKEY AND POTATOES COOKING IN IT!" Toad screamed.

"HA! Looks like your plan failed! YEAH BOI!" Birdo cheered.

"Don't ever say that again." Mario commented.

"Wh-what? But this is impossible! Toad is suppose to be all dark-colored and evil-looking! What did I do wrong?" E. Gadd said.

But suddenly, they all noticed something else in the Wa Machine. It stepped out the machine and looked at everyone. They all gasped at who it was.

E. Gadd was shocked for a second but then started laughing. "Ladies and gentlemen...I give to you...WATOAD!"

"Wa...Toad?" Mario said in confusion.

Watoad looked exactly like Toad, except his skin was dark purple-ish colored and so was his "mushroom head".

"As you probably have already guessed, Watoad is the hater version of Toad. Although, for some reason, I thought the REAL Toad was gonna be turned into Watoad, and not have a separate Toad and Watoad, but I guess this will do." E. Gadd said.

"So what is the purpose of all this then?" Diddy asked.

"Simple. I'm gonna create hater versions of you guys...TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" E. Gadd evilly laughed in a try-hard way.

"OH MY FREAKING GOOOOOOOSH!" Everyone screamed.

"No...you...you can't do this! No! NO! NOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH! NAAAAAAWWWWWWW! NIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Daisy annoyingly screamed. At this point, everyone wanted to kill her Suicide Club-style.

"Well, you can't force us to get into that machine, anyways! We overpower you!" Luigi said.

"Dixie, get out your bazooka. Yoshi, get out the sub-machine guns. Peach, get out the lollipops. Luigi, get out the flamethrowers. And me...I will get out the best pokemon ever made...TANGELA!" Waluigi said as tossed out his pokemon and out Tangela came.

"TANGELA! USE YOUR VINE WHIP ATTACK ON E. GADD NOW!" Waluigi ordered.

"Tan...?" Tangela responded in confusion.

"Um, I don't think he knows who you're talking about." Peach said.

"Oh. TANGELA! ATTACK THAT GUY IN THE WHITE COAT!" Waluigi ordered.

Tangela shook his head in response.

"WHAT? ATTACK HIM YOU VINE-COVERED FREAK!" Waluigi raged.

"Oh my gosh, I've seen this before! You used up all your PP for Vine Whip so Tangela can't use that now!" Toad said.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuudge! I knew I should've gone to the Pokemon Center!" Waluigi face palmed himself.

"There's a Pokemon Center in the Mushroom Kingdom?" Yoshi questioned.

"HEY LOOK! THERE'S A VANILLA MILKSHAKE IN THE MACHINE! HURRY, GET IT!" E. Gadd yelled.

This caught everyone's attention and like dogs, they all trampled over each other to get in the machine.

"THAT MILKSHAKE IS MINE! NO ONE CAN HAVE IT!" Toadette screamed.

"IF YOU TOUCH THAT MILKSHAKE, I WILL TORTURE YOU BY MAKING YOU LISTEN TO REBECCA BLACK OVER NINE THOUSAND TIMES!" Tiny yelled.

"MUST...GET...MILKSHAKE! MILKSHAKES ARE MY LIFE!" Luigi said in immense desperation.

"PIKA PIKA! PIKAAAA PI! Pikachu-chu!" Pinkachu yelled.

"Oh, you want to go in there too? Well, be my guest!" E. Gadd said as he grabbed Pinkachu by the ears and he tossed him in.

"You're going in as well! Have fun!" He said to Tangela and tossed him in.

"AAHHHH! THERE'S BLUE VINE STUFF ALL OVER MY FACE! GET IT OFF ME!" Dixie screamed.

E. Gadd shut the door and pressed the red button. The machine started rumbling a lot and after a few minutes, it finally stopped. E. Gadd opened the door and everyone fell out.

"HEY! YOU LIED TO US! THERE WAS NO MILKSHAKE IN THERE! I AM VERY UPSET AND RAGEFUL RIGHT NOW!" Daisy complained.

"We were tricked! Duped! Lied to! Speckledorfed!" Mario cried.

"Shut up Mario, speckledorfed isn't even a word!" Wario insulted.

"In MY dictionary it is." Rosalina smirked.

"No one cares." Tiny said.

And then, the hater versions of everyone came out. Wamario, Waluigi (not to be confused with the actual Waluigi), Wapeach, Wadaisy, Wayoshi, Wabirdo, Watoadette, the second Watoad, Wawaluigi, Wawario, Wadonkey Kong, Wadiddy Kong, Wadixie Kong, Watiny Kong, Wapinkachu, Watangela and Warosalina.

"Woah...I LOOK HOT AS AN EVIL PERSON!" Tiny egotistically said. All the hater versions of themselves were dark-purple colored, just like the first Watoad and even the clothes were darker-colored. Wapinkachu was oddly still pink-colored, but his eyes were more menacing looking. Watangela had black vines.

"Wait a second here, how can the hater version of myself and Wario be evil, when we're already kind of evil in the first place?" Waluigi asked.

"Well then...Wawario and Wawaluigi are TWICE as evil!" E. Gadd answered.

"Oh god...that can't be good...or can it? No. Stop second guessing yourself, Daisy." Daisy said in first person.

"Pikachu! Pika pika?" Pinkachu said.

"I wish we could have a translator here so we could stop being so confused by what the heck this rat could be saying." Rosalina said.

"Now then...with these hater versions of you guys, I can easily cause destruction and take over the world! But first, I need to get rid of all you! HATERS, ATTACK!" E. Gadd ordered and all the haters attacked the others.

"OH SNAP! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" Peach screamed and everyone scrambled in different directions while the song, "Run Devil Run" by SNSD started playing from an unknown place.

_You better run run run run run_

_It s the end for you_

_You better run run run run run_

_I've waited long enough, hey_

"WHERE SHOULD WE HIDE AT?" Dixie screamed as she was running with Toadette.

"Oh! In that door right there!" Toadette pointed at a brown door right near them. They opened the door...only to run into a brick wall right behind it.

_You don t seem to understand,_

_Just how serious I am_

_You better run run run run run_

"DANGIT! A DEAD END!" Peach raged. She turned around, but saw Wapeach right in front of her.

"Come, Peach. I will show you the ways of the Wa-ness." Wapeach said.

"NEVAR!" Peach yelled and ran up the walls matrix style and managed to get away from Wapeach.

You re going to suffer in never-before-seen ways

You should beg for forgiveness, right?

"Birdo! Where are you? How dare you leave your boyfriend! Selfish much?" Yoshi called out.

"I'm right here."

Yoshi turned around, only to find that it was Wabirdo.

"Woah! Don't trick me like that! Man, dark purple does NOT look good on you. You look like an octopus." Yoshi laughed.

"Shut your face! Prepare to die!" Wabirdo yelled and charged at him.

Yoshi simply jumped out of the way, making Wabirdo charge and fall into a pile of rotten fruit.

"Man, hasn't E. Gadd ever heard of a garbage bin?" Yoshi said and ran the other way.

_You got caught, you teased me_

_Run devil devil run run_

Wario and Waluigi confided themselves in a room full of robotic stuff.

"WOAH! Look at this! Looks like E. Gadd was making a robot in here!" Waluigi said.

"Don't you dare touch anything! We don't want a bunch of inanimate objects coming to life!" Wario warned.

"Oh hush up Wario. You're so fake, the boogieman even thinks so too!" Waluigi insulted.

"That was possibly the randomnest insult I've ever heard in my entire life." Wario retaliated.

"Ooh, check this out! This looks like a laser gun!" Waluigi said as he grabbed the object from the table and pointed it at Wario.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING? DON'T BE POINTING THAT AT ME!" Wario shrieked like a girl.

"Calm down! It probably doesn't even work!" Waluigi said.

"But if it does, and you press that button, you can bet FOR SURE that I'm gonna be burning all those Asian Horror Movies you own!" Wario said.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT? YOU WOULDN'T DARE!" Waluigi cried.

"Oh. I would."

Wawario and Wawaluigi suddenly came into the room.

"GAH! How did you get in here?" Wario shrieked.

"The door was unlocked." Wawario answered.

"...I knew we were forgetting something..." Waluigi said.

"Enough talk! Any last words to say before we defeat you, ninja-style?" Wawaluigi said.

"Yeah we do actually. Gun." Waluigi answered.

"Gun?" Wawario and Wawaluigi repeated.

"GUN?" Wario also repeated.

"Yes. Gun." Waluigi replied.

"Gun...?" Wawario repeated again.

"Gun as in G-U-N?" Wario asked.

"No, gun as in Y-O-U-S-U-C-K." Wawaluigi sarcastically said.

"YES! GUN!" Waluigi frustratingly repeatedly.

"So...gun..." Wario said as he rubbed the chin.

"Gunny gun gun." Wawario said.

"OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Waluigi screamed and shot Wawario and Wawaluigi with the laser gun. They were both blasted through the wall behind them and were knocked out.

"Holy crap! It DOES work! Yeeeee!" Wario cheered. "But wait a second...why the hell did you waste our time with that whole 'gun' nonsense?"

"I dunno. I felt like stalling for some reason. Stallers...it's what we do." Waluigi tried to sound cool but failed extraordinarily.

_You're no fun, you have no manners._

_Run devil devil run run_

Toad was running back and forth down the halls, screaming his head off.

"OH MY GOD SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME I'M GONNA DIE! I COULD TRY TO ESCAPE RIGHT NOW BY MYSELF, BUT I'M TO LAZY TO DO THAT!" Toad screamed.

But then, Toad stopped running as he as saw the two Watoad's down the hall from him.

"Come play with us Toad. Come with play with us. Forever and ever and ever...and ever...and ever...plus one." Both the Watoads said in unison.

"Aww come on! Why does it have to be 2 against one? That's so unfair!" Toad complained.

"Because we said so, mortal." Said the Watoads.

"Okay now that's just creepy." Toad pointed out.

"Don't you worry! Diddy Kong is here to save the day!" Diddy announced, jumping into the scene but accidentally slipped and bashed his head on the ground.

"What the heck was that, Diddy? That was the worst rescue attempt I've ever seen!" Toad pouted.

The Watoads started walking to him.

"Oh god, this doesn't look good! Should I run for my life, or stay here and scream like the chicken that I am?" Toad contemplated.

Diddy suddenly rejuvenated and got out his peanut popguns and started blasting the Watoads like crazy.

"YES! TASTE THE FURY OF THE PEANUTS! YAR-HAR-FIDDLE-E-DEE!" Diddy laughed in a scary/insane/weird/cool/sexy way.

100 blasted peanuts later and the Watoads were successfully knocked out.

"Yes! You did it! Thanks so much, Diddy! But wait...where the heck did you that peanut popgun thing from?" Toad asked.

"Not sure. For some reason, I always manage to get it from nowhere whenever I need it the most. For those of you who played Donkey Kong 64, you should know what I'm talking about!" Diddy said.

"...Who are you talking to?" Toad asked.

"Uhh...my imaginary friend! Now let's go find our girlfriends!" Diddy said and they ran off.

_There is no one like me. I'm disappointed that you tried to trick me._

_I'm much better than all of them. What are you going to be if you keep acting like that?_

Daisy confided herself in a storage room.

"THIS IS SO FREAKING INSANE AND UNCOOL! I CAN'T HAVE ANOTHER ME RUNNING AROUND! Although, purple DOES look good on me..." Daisy said.

Bangs were suddenly heard from the door.

"LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M JUST A CHILD!" Daisy cried.

Then the bangs stopped.

"Huh? Are they gone? Well, it couldn't hurt to check outside. I mean, I HIGHLY doubt that they're tricking me since this is a reverse psychology situation that would take a good 20 minutes to explain." Daisy said and slowly walked towards the door. She opened it and peeked outside and got pulled out by Wadaisy.

"OH MY GOD! YOU WERE OUTSIDE! MY THEORY WAS WRONG!" Daisy cried anime style.

"Stupid girl! Another reason why I am superior to you! NOW DIE!" Wadaisy yelled and started strangling Daisy.

Daisy struggled to call out for help. Wadaisy was too overpowering.

But suddenly, by a stroke of luck, Wadaisy got hit in the head hard by a large peanut, which knocked her over.

"Where in the world did that come from?" Daisy shrieked.

"Right here." Diddy answered, not too far away. He was standing confidently with his peanut popgun next to Toad.

"Oh you! You saved my life! Thanks Diddy! I could kiss you right now, but I'd feel like that'd be cheating on Luigi." Daisy said.

"Don't mention it. Now let's find everyone else and get out of this rathole!" Diddy said.

"Rathole? Really?" Toad said.

"SORRY! I CAN'T THINK OF A BETTER WORD! DON'T INSULT ME!" Diddy said in frustration.

_I told you not to fool around_

_I told you to do well while I loved you..._

"Yoshi? Is that you?" Birdo called out from across the hall. She ran to him but then gasped that it wasn't Yoshi.

"Hello Birdo. I am your worst nightmare." Wayoshi said in a creepy/disturbing/almost-killer-like/grungy way.

"Your worst nightmare? I thought your name was Wayoshi?" Birdo asked.

"No! I meant that...ergh, nevermind! Anyways, prepare to meet your doom!" Wayoshi said and then ran to Birdo ninja-style.

"NO! I SHALL NOT BE KILLED BY SOMEONE THAT LOOKS LIKE MY BOYFRIEND! FEMALE EMPOWERMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENT!" Birdo screamed and charged toward Wayoshi.

Then the two got into an all out battle. Well, if you consider a battle simply slapping each other that is. Because that's all they were doing. We'll get back to these guys later...

You better run run run run run

I can't stand seeing you anymore, I'll kick you away

DK, Tiny, Mario, Luigi, Pinkachu, Tangela and Rosalina stayed back in the room with the Wa Machine with their counterparts.

"So, any last words before we ultimately destroy you?" Warosalina said.

"Yeah! You sound lame as my evil counterpart! I mean, come on, even Peach could do a better job!" Rosalina insulted.

"You go girlfriend!" Tiny said and high-fived her.

"HATERS! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? KILL THEM!" E. Gadd demanded.

"Everybody, get ready! These guys are gonna play hard, I can tell." Mario said and got in fighting stance.

"Mwahahaha! Do you really think you can defeat us? Think again!" Wamario laughed.

"Okay. I'll think again...yep, I still believe we'll beat you!" Mario said.

"You guys, I'm actually kind of scared about doing this...this guys seem really tough and scary!" Luigi whimpered.

"HAHAHA! You are pathetic, Luigi! Always scared and always helpless, which is why I am better than you in every single way." Waluigi said.

"Don't take that from him, Luigi! KICK HIS BUTT! RIP HIS HEAD OFF! SMACK HIM SILLY! DANCE LIKE A CLOWN! BITE YOUR INDEX FINGER! MOVE LIKE AN EGYPTIAN! SING IT NOW!" Rosalina danced. Everyone looked at her and facepalmed themselves.

"PIKA CHU CHU CHUUUUUUU!" Pinkachu growled.

"Looks like Pinkachu wants to fight! So enough talking! LET'S DO THIS!" DK roared. Everyone else yelled and they all collided with each other.

It was total chaos. Mario and Wamario were rolling with each other all over the place, not actually fighting. Waluigi was just punching Luigi's chest repeatedly, which was enough to make Luigi cry even though it didn't seem like he was punching hard. DK and Wadonkey Kong were just screaming at each other in monkey language. Rosalina and Warosalina were throwing things at each other, not even LOOKING at their target. Tiny and Watiny were just pulling each other's hair out, which isn't considered fighting. The only ones that were actually fighting Pinkachu and Wapinkachu, who were zapping each other like crazy, and Tangela and Watangela who were trying to strangle each other with their vines.

"Ha ha! This is great! Once the good guys are gone, my world domination will be OFFICIALLY set in stone! Man, I am so evil! Possibly more evil than Bowser! GWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" E. Gad evilly laughed.

But on total accident, he pressed a button that set off a detonator on his table.

"Oh no...don't tell me...did I just..." E. Gadd turned around slowly in fear and screamed girlishly as he saw the detonator countdown from 5 minutes. "NO! GOD FREAKING BARNACLES! WHY DID I CREATE A DETONATOR IN THE FIRST PLACE! SEE, THIS IS WHY I HATE BEING A GENIUS SOMETIMES! I GO OVERBOARD WITH MY CREATIONS!"

Everybody stopped fighting as soon as they heard the beeping sound from the detonator.

"...Well that doesn't sound good." Tiny said.

"So...I'm guessing that's a detonator you got there, eh?" DK asked.

"Well...yes..." E. Gadd replied.

"And you pressed it on accident I assume?" DK asked again.

"...Unfortunately..." E. Gadd replied again.

"So we should probably start running now right?" Rosalina asked.

"No, you should just stay here and watch in excitement as the detonator keeps ticking down. OF COURSE YOU SHOULD RUN YOU IDIOTS!" E. Gadd screamed.

"MAMMA MIA! LET'S GO GO GO!" Mario yelled and everyone ran for their life.

_You better run run run run run_

_Even if you grab a hold of me, I'll ignore you, hey_

Back to Birdo and Wayoshi, they were still just smacking each other. A very boring fight indeed.

"-pants- I...can't...smack...ANYMORE!" Wayoshi complained and fainted to the ground.

"HA! You call yourself a hater? You're weak! Weaker than a dying squirrel! That's how weak you are! Oh yeah, I went there!" Birdo spat.

"BIRDO! COME WITH US! WE NEED TO GET OUT RIGHT NOW! A DETONATOR IS ABOUT TO GO OFF!" Rosalina yelled from across the hallway.

"Ewww, I hate detonators! Wait up!" Birdo yelled in reply.

Dixie and Toadette woke up from their disastrous head-into-brick-wall collision.

"Owwwww...my head feels like it was pounced on by those Pumpkin monsters from Rip Taylor's party." Toadette moaned.

"How long have we been knocked out for? Is everyone else still alive?" Dixie asked.

"Girl, how the HECK should I know? We've been separated from everyone ever since that whole 'hater' fiasco happened!" Toadette said.

"OKAY! YOU DON'T NEED TO GET AN ATTITUDE!" Dixie violently screamed.

"I DON'T HAVE AN ATTITUDE SO GET YOUR UGLY, RAT-LOOKING FACE OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I CALL KAZOOIE TO COME OVER HERE AND GET JIGGY WITH IT!" Toadette screamed back.

"...What?" Dixie said in confusion.

"Sorry. I was making up the insult as I was screaming." Toadette said.

"Aha! I thought we heard screaming around here!" Wario said as him and Waluigi approached the girls.

"Please don't tell me we missed a cat fight!" Waluigi said.

"We weren't gonna fight, we were just screaming at each other for no reason...which could've led to a fight but oh well." Dixie said.

"Darn! What a waste of time! Let's go Wario!" Waluigi pouted.

"Wait a minute! You can't just leave us here! We need to find the others!" Toadette cried.

"Eh, I'm sure they're fine. I mean, it's not like WE are in any danger currently as well." Wario said.

Suddenly, the group ran past them, but then backed up so they could see the four.

"You guys! Come with us! A detonator is about to blow up any second so we need to get out ASAP!" DK ordered.

"...Well that just sucks!" Wario complained then they followed them.

_I'll get my revenge when I become a greater person, don't you forget it_

"Hey. Do you guys...hear that?" Daisy asked.

"Yeah, I do! It sounds like people panicking out of fear and a lot of footsteps!" Diddy said.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Toad asked.

"Depends on what you're thinking...or does it?" Diddy asked confusedly.

"Maybe it does...or should it." Toad responded also confusedly.

"I'm positive it does. Or am I?" Daisy said.

"Only if you think you are. Or are you?" Diddy said.

"We're just wasting time here. Or are we?" Daisy asked.

"I agree with you...OR DO I?" Toad said in suspense.

"Hey guys!" Peach called out from nearby.

"AAHHHH! MONSTER!" The three screamed.

"Really? I look like a monster to you guys?" Peach asked and puts her hands at her hips.

"Well, when you don't have makeup on, yes." Toad answered.

"UGH! WELL THEN!" Peach pouted.

"GUYS! GET OUT THE DOOR! THIS PLACE IS ABOUT TO BLOOOOOOOOOOOW!" Tiny screamed.

"Hey, I love that song!" Daisy said. The four then started running as well.

30 seconds later, and everyone, including the hater versions and E. Gadd, and Pinkachu and Tangela, successfully got out E. Gadd's lab.

"HA HA! I GOT OUT BEFORE YOU GUYS! DINOSAURS RULE!" Yoshi danced.

"YOSHI, YOU IDIOT! COME WITH US!" Birdo yelled and dragged him with her.

The lab then exploded into a million pieces and set fire to the area around it.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

Man, that chapter was WAY longer than I expected it to be. Please review.


	6. The Truth

Mario and Luigi were sitting in their house, watching TV.

"Man, there is NOTHING on today! All I see is crap like Jersey Bore, Banana Montana, and other try-hard shows. WHERE IS ALEX MACK WHEN YOU NEED HER?" Mario complained.

"Well we could try to do something useful with our time like...uhh...volunteer at the Senior Citizens place...or throw candies at Toadney Spears' pet T-Rex." Luigi suggested.

"No! I want something more. Something adventurous and fun. Something that will keep me occupied for a while." Mario said and started to think.

Suddenly, a knock was heard on the door.

"Oh yes! Visitors! That can keep me occupied!" Mario cheered and rushed to the door and opened it.

He saw Yoshi, Birdo, Toad, Daisy and Toadette standing there with worried looks on there faces.

"What seems to be the problem, guys?" Mario asked.

"OH MARIO IT'S TERRIBLE! PRINCESS PEACH HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED...AGAIN!" Toadette cried.

Luigi heard this and jumped up from the couch. "AGAIN?"

"Yes, again! It was awful! We were all Peach's castle having lunch, when there was this strange noise outside so Peach went to investigate it, but after a while we heard her scream so we ran out of the castle, only to see Bowser taking Peach away in that hovering Koopa Clown mobile thingamajig!" Birdo said.

Mario facepalmed himself. "Are you serious right now? I HAVE TO SAVE PEACH AGAIN, FOR THE BILLIONTH TIME IN A ROW? HOW MANY TIMES DOES THAT BROAD HAVE TO GET KIDNAPPED SO SHE LEARNS TO GET PROTECTION AROUND HER CASTLE? AND HOW MANY TIMES DOES BOWSER HAVE TO KIDNAP PEACH JUST TO FIND OUT THAT I DEFEAT HIM EVERY TIME HE DOES?" He raged.

"Calm down, Mario! You know Bowser, he never gives up on this kind of stuff! You should hurry and get to his castle right away before something bad happens to Peach!" Yoshi pleaded.

"Why should I? Bowser doesn't even do anything to her anyway! I'm tired of saving her every other day, it gets on my freaking nerves! Are they secretly doing this just to annoy me or somethng? I NEED TO KNOW!" Mario raged again.

"You know Mario...you do have a good point. Peach is the richest woman in the Mushroom Kingdom and yet, she can't be bothered to get security around her castle? Also, the fact that she is NEVER hurt when you find her? Seems pretty suspicious if you ask me." Daisy said.

"What are you trying to say, Daisy?" Toad asked.

"I'm just saying it's how weird how Bowser doesn't actually DO anything to Peach when he kidnaps her...no torture, no physical marks, no horrifying experiences that she told us...nothing." Daisy said.

"Oh my gosh Daisy, you're so right! I can't believe I never even noticed it until now!" Birdo gasped.

"Me too! She must get a sick high off of getting kidnapped. That's the only possible reason she wouldn't...oh, I don't know...do something to stop it from happening again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again..." Yoshi said.

"Didn't she also get kidnapped in Super Smash Bros. Brawl? That's just pathetic!" Toadette spat.

"Yeah, she needs to take some self-defense classes, see if that will help her." Luigi suggested.

"Actually, considering her security staff, I might be wrong but when Bowser tried to kidnap Peach and take her and her castle to the galaxies, didn't one of the Toad guards hide BEHIND her?" Yoshi said.

"Oh yes! I remember seeing that! That was so ridiculous, I was trying not to laugh!" Mario snickered.

"I'm starting to wonder if Peach just sets up the kidnappings just so she can get some attention." Daisy said.

"You think that she's an attention seeker?" Birdo asked.

"Yes...well, actually I was thinking of her as more of an attention wh...err, I mean, well...yeah, let's just go with that." Daisy blushed.

"No, I'm pretty it's because Bowser wants to 'make love' to Peach." Toad laughed.

"EWWWWWWWWWWW!" Everyone else screamed.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? BOWSER AND PEACH? OH MY GOD, YOU JUST PUT THAT IMAGE IN MY HEAD!" Toadette shrieked.

"But wait a second, how would they...uhh...do THAT exactly? I mean, Bowser weighs like a thousand pounds and he could crush Peach easily!" Yoshi said.

"I'm not sure and I know it sounds gross, but it makes sense, doesn't it? At least, it makes more sense than Peach not getting better security." Toad said.

"Very true. Hmm..." Mario started to think.

"...You know, I just realized something else. Bowser's Castle isn't that far from Peach's Castle. It's literally within walking distance. She kind of deserves to be kidnapped if she hasn't noticed that by now." Daisy said.

"Wow, you're totally right! I've always wondered why you can see Bowser's Castle only from the second story window..." Toad said.

"Seriously, what the heck, I think we need to put a dog collar on her and install an electric fence, just to lower the risk of her being kidnapped." Luigi said.

"We need to keep Peach locked in that freaking castle of hers. Everytime she goes out, she gets kidnapped. It's just too much." Toadette said.

"I just thought of something. Why doesn't the FBI come and take Bowser away forever? That would stop all this craziness." Yoshi suggested.

"It's most likely because she's been kidnapped so many times that they just stopped caring." Luigi answered.

"That girl needs to carry some pepper spray." Birdo said.

"I actually remember a long time ago when Geno and Mallow were around, Peach actually got kidnapped twice. TWICE! In the same day, by two different people! It's enough to be kidnapped on a bi-weekly basis, but twice in the same day? Come on Princess, get your act together." Mario facepalmed himself again.

"I think it's time we expose Peach for the fake that she REALLY is..." Daisy evilly smirked.

LATER THAT DAY...

Wario and Waluigi were on the couch in their home, watching the news.

"They said that they'll be doing a shocking news report about Princess Peach in a while. I wonder what it could be?" Wario asked.

"She probably got kidnapped again. What else is new." Waluigi said boredly.

"Oh. That might be true." Wario responded.

The news report came on.

"Good evening, my name is Toadena Gomez, and I'm here to talk about a very controversial thing that includes the infamous Princess Toadstool Peach. The Princess has been kidnapped yet again by, you guessed it, King Bowser Koopa. However, there is more to the story than meets the eye. When a few people who came to the News studio, and who shall be named anonymous, told us the very possible truth about these kidnappings. Now, most of us know how King Bowser Koopa kidnaps Princess Peach an average of 5 times per month, but what these people told us about this was very eye-opening. They said that it was very suspicious how Peach can't afford to get better security around her castle and it was also suspicious how when Mario finds her, she hasn't even had a scratch on her. Our staff couldn't help but agree with this and also find it suspicious as well. Could this possibly mean that there's something secretive going on between Princess Peach and Bowser Koopa? Maybe, maybe not. But for now, all we can do is wonder about it. This is Toadena Gomez reporting from Channel 7 News."

Wario and Waluigi were in shock from the report.

"Holy crap...I seriously never even THOUGHT about that until that lady just up and said it!" Waluigi shrieked.

"I don't believe this! So all this time, Peach hating Bowser was all a phony? There was something going on between them? GROSS!" Wario said.

"UGH! I don't even wanna think about this right now! Come on, let's go to Wal-Mart and buy Mario Party 79!" Waluigi gestured.

"What? Mario Party 79? There's a new Mario Party game out?" Wario asked.

"Yeah, it came out yesterday! The media just didn't care for it because half of the population is tired of the same old Mario Party games." Waluigi said.

"Oh. Well...no surprise there. Let's go!" Wario said and they both left the house.

MEANWHILE, AT BOWSER'S CASTLE...

"I don't believe this! They're starting to find out the truth! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?" Peach panicked after just having seen the news report on TV.

"Well, to be honest, I kind of knew word will get out sooner or later. I mean for crying out loud, I've kidnapped you like over nine thousand times! Someone was bound to think something was up!" Bowser said.

"...You're right. This is my fault. All because of my selfish desires to bring some excitement into my life. What is wrong with me? I've set the entire women race back 200 years because of this!" Peach cried.

"I swear, if they think you and me are 'together' then I'm gonna blow this place down!" Bowser roared.

"-sigh- I suppose I might as well come out with the truth to everyone. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?" Peach said.

THE NEXT DAY:

Peach was standing on a pedestal in town hall where the whole city was watching her.

"Alright, just to make this short and straight to the point, here it is: About the whole "Bowser kidnapping Peach 4034847 times suspiciousness" news reports that I'm sure you've all heard by now...I am here to tell the truth. The truth is...I need some excitement in my life. Seriously, my life is so boring despite what people think! All I do everyday is sit around in my castle, drink tea and watch TV! So what other way to REALLY spice up my days? Have Bowser kidnap me of course! It all started a VERY long time ago, where me and Bowser agreed to kidnap me and have Mario rescue me, without actually putting me in any danger! It's the ultimate experience! So there, there's the truth. I'm sorry to all you people who have been worried about me, but I couldn't keep lying to you guys any longer. So...what do you guys say?" Peach said.

The crowd was silent for a few seconds, but then suddenly started booing and throwing things at her such as bananas, milkshakes, cherry pies, doorknobs, glass cups, mushrooms, cellphones, laptops, dogs, cats, your mother, cartons of milk, ice cream, hot sauce, Sonic the Hedgehog, rabbits and cheep-cheeps.

Peach was crying her eyes out and ran away from the angry citizens.

And she was never heard of again. Oh well! Life goes on.

EOC.

The whole "Why does Peach let herself get kidnapped so many times by Bowser?" has been a popular internet topic for years and it just HAD to be parodied. But at the same time, it's also made Peach very hated among gamers. I don't hate Peach myself, in case you were wondering, but seriously people, it's just a video game. You're not suppose to take it seriously! 


	7. Vegetables!

**This vegetable commercial is brought to you by Mario and friends, with singing done by AKB48!**

Mario wakes up on a field and happily yawns...only to find out that he's not in his bed.

"WHAT THE HELL? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? WHERE'S MY BED AND MY FLUFFY TOYS?" Mario shrieked.

But that wasn't the only bad thing he noticed.

"Oh my god...I TURNED INTO A TOMATO! WHO'S DOING THIS?" Mario screamed. Only his body was a tomato, as his face and legs were still there.

"_Good morning!_" Mario randomly said, in a voice that was not his.

"HUH? I didn't say that! What is this? Am I in some parallel universe or something? Or is this black magic that's controlling me? I DEMAND TO KNOW BECAUSE I AM SUPAH MARIOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mario shouted, trying to seem all epic and such.

Suddenly, the scenery changed and a bunch of Mario characters appeared, with their bodies transformed into vegetables with heads and legs still visible and music started playing.

Mario, Peach, Daisy, Luigi, Yoshi, Birdo, Toad and Toadette started spinning in a circle together and started singing:

_V-E-G-E-T-A-B-LES_

"Mario! Do you know what's going on here? I can't stop moving! Plus, something's controlling my voice! I wasn't singing that!" Peach cried. She was dressed as cabbage.

"Your guess is as good as mine! This has to be Bowser's doing!" Mario answered.

"I'M RIGHT HERE YOU MORON!" Bowser screamed who was only a few feet away with a group of other characters. He was dressed as a carrot.

"Does someone want to eat us or something? Why are we dressed as vegetables?" Yoshi asked. He's dressed as a pumpkin.

"The only logical conclusion that I can come up with is that we're in a video game. A video game about the Mario charcters dressed as vegetables defeating other characters dressed as junk food of course!" Toadette said. She was dressed as a red pepper.

"Oh yeah, that makes SOOOOOOOOOOOO much sense. Please call me when you wake up and realize that IF WE WERE ALL IN A VIDEO GAME, WE WOULD KNOW FOR SURE!" Daisy spat. She was dressed as spinach.

"YOU GUYS! I THINK I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK! I'M DRESSED AS A EGGPLANT AND I'M ALLERGIC TO EGGPLANTS!" Luigi cried.

"Eh, you'll be fine. Just think of happy and chaotic thoughts." Toad comforted. He was dressed as celery.

"I'm seriously resisting the urge of eating myself. Broccoli is my favorite vegetable EVAR." Birdo cheered.

Suddenly, the small group split and joined the other, larger group and started forcibly dancing and singing.

_Vegetables! Woah woah woah!_

_Sisters! Yeah yeah yeah!_

"Hey! There's guys here too, you know, whoever is making us sing that!" Wario supernaturally shouted. He was dressed as an onion.

"What in banana's name is going on here? How am I doing this dancing? It feels like I'm a puppet, attached to a bunch of strings!" DK complained. He was dressed as lettuce.

"I WANNA GO HOOOOOOOOOOOME! I HATE YAMS!" Dixie cried.

"I don't see what the big deal is about. I think this is actually kind of fun!" Rosalina cheered. She was dressed as watercress.

"Rosalina, shut up and start being negative! THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!" Diddy said. He was dressed as parsley.

Suddenly, Waluigi and Goombella ran up to the front of the entire group and started singing.

_Tomato, cabbage, carrot, pumpkin_

_Red pepper, and spinach!_

_Eggplant, burdock, onion, celery_

_Broccoli, and daikon!_

"What is making us sing this? Seriously, I feel like I'm in an elementary school play! Plus, I'm dressed as daikon, the worst vegetable in the galaxy!" Goombella complained.

"HEY! Don't be hating on daikon!" Toad yelled.

Waluigi and Goombella then moved to the back of the group and then Koops, Flurrie, Paper Yoshi and Vivian moved to the front and started forcibly singing and dancing as well (along with everyone else forcibly dancing as well).

_Sun rises_

_It's a shiny morning_

_Today, all day long_

_Let's join forces and do our best_

"This song is giving me a headache. And I do NOT sing like that! I have a beautiful and god-gifted voice so whoever is making me sing like that can go shove a tree down their throat!" Flurrie insulted. She was dressed as Kale.

"Beautiful? God-gifted? Ha! Don't make me laugh! Even Toadney Spears sings better than you do!" Paper Yoshi insulted. He was dressed as Komatsuna.

"At least she isn't dressed as Komatsuna, the world's most demonic food ever created!" Vivian yelled back. She was dressed as Ginger.

"D-E-L-U-S-I-O-NAL IS WHAT YOU ARE!" Paper Yoshi shouted back in a western way.

"Am I the only one here that's actually getting a headache from all the yelling and not from the song itself?" Koops asked. He was dressed as brussel sprouts.

The four moved to the back of the group and everyone, once again, started to forcibly dance and sing.

_Vegetables! Woah woah woah!_

_Sisters!_

_Everybody! Woah woah woah!_

_Gather round! Yeah! Yeah!_

"What about vegetable BROTHERS, huh? THIS SONG IS SEXIST!" Lakilester crazily yelled in a sexy way. He was dressed as Beet.

Next, Bowser, Goombario, Kooper and Bombette skipped to the front of the group and, you guessed it, started forcibly singing and dancing.

_Purple yam, watercress, lettuce_

_Komatsuna, beet, asparagus oooooh!_

_Kale, parsley, angelica, ginger_

_Brussel sprouts, bok choi and jew's mallow!_

"I honestly believe that we have been kidnapped by the government and they want to make us suffer by singing kiddie songs. Yup. No other way to explain it." Goombario concluded. He was dressed as Angelica. (Not the Angelica from Rugrats FYI)

"Oh yes, because that makes so much sense! You really should write a book Goombario, on how to make yourself look like a complete IDIOT in front of other people!" Bombette hostily yelled. She was dressed as Jew's Mallow.

"Alright alright, settle down children. Bombette, get rid of your anger. Goombario, get rid of your stupid." Bowser commanded.

"Yep, there was absolutely no irony in that sentence at all. Good job Bowser." Kooper said with sarcasm. He was dressed as Bok Choi.

"Stick it." Bowser replied.

The four moved to the back and up to the front came Toadette, Dixie, Rosalina and Miss Mowz and they started to...do I really need to say it?

_This completely clear blue sky_

_Makes me think something good's gonna happen_

_Let's spend today, all day long_

_With a happy smile_

"Well, you know, I COULD smile...IF THIS SONG WASN'T SO CHEESY AND I COULD GET OUT OF THIS VEGETABLE THING!" Miss Mowz cried. She was dressed as burdock.

"I have a feeling that this song is used specifically for mind control among the masses, judging by how the one in the heavens is allowing this to happen." Dixie said.

"Watch out guys, we have a conspiracy theorist over here!" Toadette said.

"Sigh...so much negativity. Why can't people just go along with this?" Rosalina facepalmed.

The four girls ran to the back of the group and up came DK, Diddy, Lakilester and Wario.

_We are 25 types of reserve energy_

_Coming from the field_

_We bring good things_

_And we'll give you positive energy_

"Positive energy? HA! Vegetables don't give any positive energy! Why do you think people are so reluctant to eat them?" Wario pointed out.

"Well, that's no surprise coming from someone like you." Lakilester smirked.

"BUUUUUUUUUUURN!" Diddy laughed.

"You wanna say that again, buddy? HUH? LET'S GO, RIGHT NOW!" Wario threatened.

"Well, you know, I'd love to, but it's just too difficult considering we're all dancing and singing by some magical and/or godly force making us do this." Lakilester said.

"He's got you there." DK commented.

The scenery suddenly changed to a big and long stand with various vegetables on it. The heads of Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Yoshi, Birdo, Toad and Toadette were all disturbingly there and started singing.

_V-E-G-E-T-A-B-LES_

"AAAAHHHH! WHERE DID THE REST OF MY BODY GO?" Daisy screamed.

"Woah, this is awesome! I'm just a talking head! Holla!" Toad cheered.

"Wait, how can we still be alive if the rest of our body is gone?" Birdo questioned.

"It's called fan fiction logic comedy style, Birdo." Toad answered.

"And how do you know this?" Luigi asked.

"Because...umm...I'm a genius?" Toad nervously said.

"We'll accept that." Yoshi said.

The scenery changed yet again, back to where all the Mario characters were. Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Goombella, Koops, Goombario and Kooper all started singing and dancing.

_When you're happy_

_And when you're not_

_Today, all day long_

_Let's believe in our dreams and do our best_

"Well, I'm certainly NOT happy that's for sure!" Goombella said.

"Where is this field at anyways? I don't recognize it at all." Peach said.

"I'm telling you, we're in a parallel universe! This is some Majora's Mask stuff right here!" Mario said.

"So in this parallel universe, we're all dressed as vegetables? LOL WUT." Kooper radically said in an un-radical way.

"I don't believe in parallel universes so your theory fails Mario." Daisy said.

"Basically what Daisy just said is that her opinion will always matter more than everyone else." Goombario said.

"OH! SHUT DOWN!" Goombella laughed.

The 8 moved back into the group and everyone all started dancing and singing at the time:

_We're all good friends_

_With 25 kinds of strengths_

_Grown in nature_

_A check for energy, let's go!_

"Good friends? Really? Last time I checked, we're not good friends with Bowser." Dixie said.

"And let's keep it that way." Bowser commented.

"So...uhh...anyone wanna play charades?" Bombette asked.

"Please tell me you did not just ask that question." Wario said.

"Yeah, let's play charades. Guess what I'm doing? Oh, no need to guess, I'M DANCING BY FORCE ALONG WITH EVERYONE ELSE! GOD HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE!" Vivian cried.

"You know, this reminds me of a music video. With all this choreography, singing and music..." Luigi said.

"GASP! YOU'RE RIGHT! WE MUST BE IN A MUSIC VIDEO! IT MAKES 200% SENSE!" DK said.

"Okay, if we're in a music video then where the heck is the camera thing to film us?" Waluigi asked.

"It's invisible, duh!" DK said.

"Someone please just kill me now." Daisy pleaded.

_Vegetables! Woah woah woah!_

_Sisters!_

_Everyone! Woah woah woah!_

_Gather round! Yeah! Yeah!_

Suddenly, everyone was placed into a blender.

"WOAH! WHERE ARE WE AT NOW? SOMEONE BETTER TELL ME BEFORE I USE MY MEGA BOMB MOVE!" Bombette screamed.

"OH MY FREAKING GOSH! WE'RE IN A BLENDER! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Yoshi cried.

"NOOOOOOOOO! I WANT MY MOMMY AND DADDY AND I WANT A PONY ROSE SWEATER WITH THE LONG SLEEVES CUT OFF BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AND I WANT MY DOGGY BECAUSE HE DOESN'T COUGH UP HAIR BALLS FOR ME TO CLEAN UP EVERY SINGLE DAY!" Toadette cried.

"Yay! I've always wanted to be blended in a blender!" Vivian cheered.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN?" Bowser yelled.

"Dangit! We all better have some extra lives because I clearly remember buying 50 1-Up Mushrooms a few days ago!" Diddy said.

Despite the impending doom coming, everyone still sung with happy voices.

_Vegetables! Wow wow wow_

_Sisters! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!_

The big blender suddenly turned on and then...well...you can guess what happens next.

Someone then poured the blender's contents into a glass cup. The liquid looked like orange juice.

The person then drank the juice and followed it with a refreshing "ahhhh" sound.

"Heh heh heh. That was pretty fun! I'd like to do that again someday..." Said the Shadow Queen, drinking more of the juice. Her powers were obviously underestimated in The Thousand Year Door.

Fin.

This chapter is based off the music video and song, "Yasai Sisters" by AKB48. I HIGHLY recommend searching it up on Youtube, it is the CUTEST music video I've ever seen!

Also, can anyone actually imagine Bowser in a carrot suit? Whenever I think about it, I can't help but laugh.


	8. Invasion of the Rabbids

Yes, I know it's been over a week since I updated this. I'm sorry. I've been having probably the worst cold I have ever had in my life for the past week, and there was just no way I could update some of my fics with that going on because it would be too much. But now I'm back and ready to go once again.

The Mario Crew were at Peach's castle, playing Truth or Dare.

"Alright Peach, truth or dare?" Wario asked.

"Uhh...truth!" Peach said.

"Is it true that you try to communicate with peaches solely because your name is Peach?" Wario asked.

Everyone gasped extreme-anime style.

"P-Peach...is it...true?" Mario asked in fear.

"Well...uhh...OKAY! I ADMIT! IT'S TRUE!" Peach cried.

"I KNEW IT! YOU LITTLE TRICK! HOW DARE YOU COMMUNICATE WITH PEACHES BEHIND OUR BACKS? I SHOULD SUFFOCATE YOU WITH ALL THE 3739473904732573454390 BANANAS THAT I GOT BACK AT HOME!" Dixie screamed in a King Kong-ish way.

Peach wiped her tears. "I'm so sorry! I was just curious! Can you blame me?"

"Yes, we can. Go sit in the corner." Daisy demanded.

"And what if I don't?" Peach asked.

"Well, we're gonna have to call Chain Chomp over here. You wouldn't like that, now would you?" Birdo smirked.

"Hmph! Fine then!" Peach pouted and went to the corner.

"Anyways, next! Waluigi...truth...OR DARE?" Yoshi said, trying to sound dramatic and cool but failed.

"Truth! No wait...dare! NO I MEAN TRUTH! I MEAN DARE! I MEAN...AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THIS IS SO PRESSURING! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?" Waluigi screamed and banged his head against the table.

"Because Pyramid Head said so." DK answered.

"Hey! I was gonna say that!" Toadette pouted.

"I have a confession you guys...I am currently constipated for eating too much cheese." Rosalina admitted.

"That's nice. So Waluigi! Truth or dare?" Yoshi asked again.

"Is there a third option?" Waluigi asked.

"...Possibly." Yoshi said while his eyes shifted nervously and mysteriously around the room.

**RING RING!**

The main telephone started blasting out.

"I GOT IT!" Everyone yelled and toppled over each other to get it, except for Peach who was still standing and facing the corner like the good little girl she is.

"Moshi moshi?" Tiny picked up the telephone and said.

_"Huh? Who's this?"_

"Watashi no namaeha Tiny Kong!" She said.

"GIMME THAT!" Toad yelled and took the phone away. "Yes? Hello? Who is this?"

_"This is Toadsworth. Is that you, Toad?"_

"Yes. It's me."

_"Oh. Who was the other lady talking on the phone?"_

"Don't worry about her, she's irrelevant to the Mario and DK series. Anyways, what's up?"

_"Turn on the news to Channel 128! Something very bad is happening in Mushroom City!"_

"What? Bad? Do you know what it is?"

_"Well...errr...I can't really explain it, just turn on the news!"_

Toad followed his instructions and turned the TV and flipped to Channel 128.

"This is Miley Tyrus reporting for Channel 128 news. Something extremely odd and devastating is currently going on in our beloved kingdom. What it is, you ask? Well, based on eye witness accounts, we are told that the Mushroom Kingdom is being invaded by mutant rabbits. Yes, you heard that right. Mutant rabbits. It sounds ridiculous, but from personal sighting I too have seen them. These "rabbits", if we can even call them that, seem incredibly chaotic and can make human-like noises from their mouths. Not only that, but they can stand up on their two feet so these aren't just ordinary rabbits. According to recent reports, these rabbits have caused destruction in various cities such as destroying homes, stealing food, vandalizing property, and stealing womens' panties. Right now, the rabbits are in Mushroom City but the police said they will take care of it...which means they probably won't because they either got tortured by the rabbits or fled town like a bunch of sissies. We can only hope that...HOLY FISHSTICKS! THEY'RE COMING THIS WAY! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

The camera dropped to the ground while a bunch of rabbit-looking creatures ran after the reporter. One of the rabbits stopped, kneeled down to the camera and looked into it. He suddenly screamed "DAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" and bashed the camera, making a screen with colors come on.

"Amazing movie. 10/10." Daisy said and clapped.

"Eh, the acting could've been better." Wario commented.

"Alright Toadsworth, we just saw the news. What is there to be afraid of? Those rabbit things just seem crazy, not particularly evil or murderous. Still, if they do damage to the city then the police need to do something ASAP. Toadsworth? Are you there? TOADSWORTH? TOADSWORTH! TOADSWORTH OH MY FREAKING GOD ARE YOU THERE? PLEASE ANSWER ME! OH NO I'M GONNA DIE BY THE CEILING PANEL MONSTER, HURRY TOADSWORTH, CALL 911 OR MY MOMMY! IF YOU DON'T CALL 911 IN 911 SECONDS, I'M GONNA DIE AND SPEND AN ETERNITY IN HEAVEN WITH ROBOT JESUS VERSION 2.0 WHICH I HEARD ISN'T VERY PLEASANT! ...Dang! The cheapskate hung up on me!" Toad said and slammed the phone down.

"Guys! What are we gonna do? We can't let those things cause havoc in the city! Well honestly, I could care less if they wreck the town just as long as they don't wreck my castle!" Peach said in worry.

"Hey, who told you to get out of the corner!" Waluigi scolded.

"Shut up you anorexic freak!" Peach insulted.

"OH HELL YES! GET HIM PEACH, GET HIM!" Birdo cheered.

"Blonde bimbo!" Waluigi yelled back.

"GASP! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A BIMBO! I OUGHTA TAKE MY TV AND THROW IT ON YOUR-"

"HEY! Can we please calm down and get back to the issue here? How do we get rid of the rabbits?" Luigi said.

Everyone looked to Mario. Mario noticed everyone staring at him, but he turned around to make sure no one was standing behind him and sighed.

"What do you want me to do?" Mario angrily asked.

"We want you to go out there, capture all the rabbits, thrown them in Crocodile Lake, and record everything you see via HD Camera." Diddy said.

"Why do I have to do it though?" Mario asked.

"Because you're the main hero in the entire kingdom! DUH!" Toadette answered with an attitude.

Mario simply responded by throwing a lamp at her head, which knocked her out.

"HEY! THAT LAMP COSTED 2000000000000000000 COINS!" Peach screamed.

"I have a better idea, why don't we ALL go out there and try to capture all the rabbits instead of having Mario do it by himself? It would surely be faster." DK suggested.

"That's a terrible idea. Go home, DK." Wario snapped. DK slapped him in return, leaving a big, red hand mark on his cheek.

"Ooh! I wanna be slapped next! Go ahead, hit me. I love the pain." Rosalina said in a sexual/disturbing/weird/charismatic way.

"Uhh...anyways, let's go with DK's idea. We need weapons first though. I was going to suggest a flamethrower and a nuclear missile, but since we're not going to kill them and just capture them, we could just get a net and a bunch of stun guns." Birdo said.

"Sounds good to me. We can get that stuff at the "Net and Stun Gun" store on Spooner Street." Yoshi said.

**KNOCK KNOCK!**

"I'll get it!" Rosalina said and skipped to the door but suddenly stopped and slowly turned around.

"Something wrong?" Dixie asked.

"Yes, there is...Tiny should go get the door instead." Rosalina smirked.

"Ehh?" Everyone said.

"DOUSHITE?" Tiny loudly asked.

"Because I have a phobia of yellow-colored doorknobs." She explained.

"Well I highly doubt that Rosalina would ever lie to us so go ahead Tiny, open it." Luigi said.

Tiny sighed and went to the door. She opened it and shrieked.

"Who's there? Is it DonPianta? Cause if it is...then I better start running for my life." Waluigi said.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tiny screamed and she was suddenly ran over by a bunch of crazy Rabbids.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S THE RABBITS! RUN! DON'T WALK!" DK screamed.

The rabbids suddenly flooded the room and attacked and destroyed everything they could.

"TOADETTE! WAKE UP! WE NEED TO GO!" Toad screamed and shook her.

"Where are we going? Disneyland?" She asked.

"NO! Well...maybe if I have enough money this summer...but not now! We need to get somewhere safe!" He said and got her up.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! STOP MESSING UP MY HAIR! I KNOW IT'S IRRESISTABLY LUCIOUS AND SMOOTH BUT THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO SCREW IT UP!" Rosalina screamed.

"Get away from me you monsters! I have green fireballs and I'm not afraid to use them! ...OH FUDGE THAT'S ONLY IN THE SMASH BROS. UNIVERSE, CURSE VIDEO GAME PHYSICS!" Luigi yelled and lunged out of the way.

"Help me, brother!" Wario yelled getting beaten and dragged away by the rabbids.

"No thanks, my life is more valuable!" Waluigi arrogantly said.

"SAYS WHO? YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND, WAPAC-MAN?" Wario yelled.

"Shut up! Don't you dare say it outloud!"

"Birdo...if we don't make it out of here alive...I wanted you to know that...I stole your Lady SaSa CD's when I was at your house the first time." Yoshi confessed.

"Are you serious? Well...I want you to know something too...I'm not really a dinosaur, Yoshi...I'M A HIPPO." Birdo confessed.

"WHAT THE FU-" Yoshi started to yell but was cut off by a plunger to the mouth done by none other than the rabbids. They crowded over the lovers and dogpiled on them.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" Dixie screamed, holding up a chair she got from the dining table against her. The rabbids slowly started to crowded in on her.

"I COULD USE SOME HELP HERE, DK!"

"Use the boost to get through!" DK called out.

"...WHAT?" Dixie responded in total confusion.

"I'll take care of this!" Diddy said as he jumped to her but ended up slipping and hitting his head.

"Wow. Some hero." Dixie said in annoyance.

"OH MY GOD THIS IS SO FREAKING SCARY! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Daisy screamed totally out of control.

Waluigi was staring at her weird. "Daisy, what the heck are you doing? You're not even being attacked!"

Daisy stopped screaming and looked around her. "...Oh. Well then."

Toad and Toadette escaped from the living room and ran into the basement.

"Hey wait a second! Why are we in the basement of all places? That's the worst place to be in situations like this!" Toadette said.

"Says who?" Toad asked.

"Movies of course! That kind of rule has been set in stone for decades!"

"Movies schmovies. We'll be fine as long as we stay down here all quiet and such."

As they both stood around, looking concerned, they noticed something in the far corner.

"What is that? Please don't tell me that that is..." Toadette said in fear.

"Well, I wanna say it's an illusion or a ghost but I was waiting for you to finish your sentence." Toad said.

The figure turned around.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" It screamed.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S THE RABBIT! GET ME THE FRICK OUT OF HERE!" Toadette screamed and ran around in circles when she should be running out the door.

"No, get away from us you creature from another dimension! I'm warning you! I'll spit in your face!" Toad threatened.

The rabbid looked at him in confusion. In response, it just screamed again and jumped on his face.

"TOADETTE! GET THIS GUY OFF ME!" Toad screamed.

"Weeeeeellll...I COULD but um...I'm just gonna sit down and pray to the goddesses of Hyrule that everything will be okay." Toadette responded.

Meanwhile, Peach and Mario also escaped the living room and decided to hide in Peach's room.

"Whew! That was too close! Are we the only ones left alive?" Mario asked.

"I think so...but that's sooo cliche! Having the two main lovers survive is so overdone these days. Mario, go find Daisy, bring her here, and then sacrifice yourself in the rabbit pit." Peach said.

"HEY! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?" Mario shouted.

"I wouldn't call it a big idea, just something to avoid a stereotype." Peach said.

"Hmph. Fine! But if I go out there, you have to promise me you'll lose weight!" Mario said.

"GASP! ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?" Peach shrieked.

"Yes I am." Mario proudly answered and went out in the hallway.

"Oh Mario...you're so honest..." Peach said, suddenly lost in love.

Then there was a scream. It was coming from Mario which made Peach immediately scared.

"Oh no...MARIO! ARE YOU ALRIGHT? If you don't respond then I'm gonna assume that you're in the rabbit mosh pit and I'm the next victim!"

The rabbids came flooding the hallway and eventually ran into Peach's room.

"Oh my god! What ugly creatures! Is this the future of rabbits right here?" Peach said in digust.

The rabbids all had sadistic faces on, which really made it look like they were actually starving instead...which made the situation ten times more disturbing. Peach backed away as far as she could.

"Oh em gee, this is the end! I always thought I would die by zombies or a herd of elephants running over me, but I guess not...OH WAIT! I know someone that can help!" Peach got out her cellphone from her pocket and dialed a number.

_"Hello?"_

"Yes, this is Peach. Please help me, there's like a gazillion rabbits here invading my home and I don't even want to THINK of what they'll do to me once they get me! I'm going to assume it will involve a ritual with carrots used as spears."

_"Location confirmed. Sending supplies."_

"Gracias!"

Peach ran out to her balcony to see where the supplies will land at. She saw the supplies dropping down to her roof.

"Hey wait a second...why is that missile thingy pointing down...without a parachute...HOLY SH-"

**!**

EOC.

Well, at least the rabbids are gone. But poor Peach has to live with the fact that her castle is now gone forever. She'll probably get another one in the afterlife though because I assume they have afterlife money for afterlife living.


	9. Super Mario: The Musical

"So I was like "Heck yes!" and they were like "HELL NO!" and I was all like "Are you kidding me right now?" and they were like "PATATAR BIATCH!" and I was all like "Fascinating. See ya later!"" Peach said on the phone while painting her toe nails.

_"...Who are we talking about again?" Daisy asked._

"UGH! WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF?" Peach screamed and threw her phone at the wall, which destroyed it. It then blew up for no reason at all.

"Whatever, I need a new phone anyways! Verizon Wireless is the worst!" Peach pouted and blew on her toenails to let the paint stuff on her toe nails dry.

_DING DONG! DING DONG!_

"Oh great, visitors. It's probably Toadsworth who forgot his cane for the billionth time." Peach said as she exited her room and went downstairs.

She opened the door and screamed at who it was.

It was Bowser and his koopalings.

"What the HECK is your tub of lardo doing here? Go away!" Peach shouted.

"Heh heh heh, insult me all you want princess, it won't change the fact that I'm officially taking over the kingdom and capturing you once and for all." Bowser laughed.

"Oh yeah? That's funny considering you've done that over 9000 times and you failed each time!" Peach pointed out.

"Oh but we got something that will FOR SURE guarantee our success in domination!" Iggy said.

"Yeah! We've been working on this plan for a long time now and we made sure it would turn out perfectly." Wendy said.

"So I wouldn't count on Mario and his gang of fruties to help you out now." Morton said.

"Fruties? Is that really the best you can do?" Lemmy questioned.

"You heard them right Peach! I am unstoppable now. Now, I suggest you come with us or else there is gonna some big trouble." Bowser smirked.

"...Oh crap."

_-Scene changes to a grass field with the Mario Crew, Bowser, Kammy and the Koopalings all there.-_

_-drums-_

_-rock guitar-_

_-music-_

_[All singing and dancing] The Mushroom Kingdom's under attack once again!_

_I swear, this is getting old as hell!_

_The Mushroom Kingdom's under attack once again!_

_This should be placed in the Guinness World Records book!_

_The Mushroom Kingdom's under attack once again!_

_Should we even be surprised by now?_

_Along with that, Peach has also been kidnapped_

_...So, what else is new?_

_-guitar-_

The Mario Crew and the Bowser Crew (I can't believe I just put that there...lol) all face each other and start snapping their fingers and stomping their feet to the beat of the music, 80's hardcore style.

_-Scene changes to the Mario Crew in Mario's house-_

"So Bowser is taking over the kingdom and Peach has been kidnapped. How are we gonna stop this?" DK asked.

"By the power of 120 stars, duh!" Mario spat.

"You know, I really think we all should just relocate to a different place. Mushroom City has just become a target for everything these days. Zombies, murders, suicides, kidnappings...it's like New Pork City!" Daisy said.

"Don't be an idiot, Daisy! We have to save Peach and stop Bowser from taking over! Who's with me?" Toadette spoke.

"I am of course! Who knows what Bowser will do once he takes over? He might have every citizen be forced to eat his "special" Goomba meals...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Luigi shrieked.

"I will go with you. You cannot go alone, Mario. Bowser seems more powerful than ever this time." Rosalina said.

"I'm going too! But I first need about a pound of fruits to get my energy going, okay?" Yoshi asked.

"Yoshi, shut your freaking mouth and get ready to be ridden on by Mario. This is no time to be thinking about fruits! ...Though I am craving some apples..." Birdo said.

"I can help out by using my infamous pony tail twirl! Batteries not included!" Tiny cheered.

"Mario! Our strength is all for you! Don't ever forgot that!" Diddy swore.

"...I forgot it." Mario confessed.

"Brother, I am tagging along too so don't you dare say 'no'!" Luigi said in seriousness.

"GRRRRRRRRRRRR! Bowser makes me so mad! He makes me want to squeeze a lemon until it's juice is all out!" Toad said in frustration.

"You know, I could be staying at home watching re-runs of Squarebob Spongepants, but this actually seems important so me and Waluigi are definitely coming along." Wario stated.

"WHAT? I DON'T GET A SAY IN THIS?" Waluigi yelled.

"Hell no!" Wario yelled back.

"By the power of the lightning god, I refuse to fight with sorrow and burden blocking my way towards the path of courage and strength." Dixie stated.

"...What the heck did you just say?" Daisy asked.

"I don't even know, I just wanted to sound cool." Dixie giggled.

_-music blasts again and scene changes to field-_

_[All singing and dancing] The Mario Crew will take on the challenge!_

_Oh gee, I wonder who is gonna win this fight?_

_The Mario Crew will take on the challenge!_

_I really think Bowser underestimates them!_

_The Mario Crew will take on the challenge!_

_Better record all this and put it on Youtube!_

_You would think Bowser would give up by now_

_I think he's got a mental problem!_

_-snap-_

_-stomp-_

_-snap-_

_-stomp-_

_-snap-_

_-stomp-_

_-snap-_

_-snap-_

_-AT BOWSER'S CASTLE-_

"Alright guys, let's show those losers the TRUE meaning of evil!" Bowser roared.

"Can we order some pizza first? I am STARVING!" Larry asked.

"HOW CAN YOU BE THINKING OF PIZZA AT A TIME LIKE THIS? ARE YOU INSANE?" Bowser screamed.

"...Possibly." Larry replied.

"Guys guys! I see them! They're coming this way!" Ludwig said, looking out the window.

"Right then! Kammy, prepare the J.F.A.E.L.K.W.Y Machine!" Bowser ordered.

"Why do I have to do it?" Kammy complained.

"Because I trust you the most...unlike these little brats! You have less of a chance of screwing everything up!" Bowser said.

"That is so mean and untrue! You can totally trust us!" Wendy pouted.

"Not even if my life depended on it." Bowser said.

"Heh heh, I know you trust me Bowser, I just wanted to see if you were gonna insult them. I'm right on it!" Kammy said and zoomed off.

"That hag! I oughta take that broomstick and shove it in her belly button!" Iggy raged.

"That's...nice." Lemmy said oddly and backed away from him.

"Bowser! The guards are all downstairs, ready to take them down if they come in!" Roy reported.

"Excellent. This is my best plan yet. There's no way this can go wrong!" Bowser snickered.

"YES IT WILL! THE GOOD GUYS ALWAYS WIN!" Peach shouted from an iron cage up above.

"Shut it! Nobody asked you!" Bowser yelled.

"Well, technically, you weren't directing your statement towards a certain person so therefore, I had a right to say that." Peach said, using logic for the win.

"Yeah yeah, keep your stupidity to yourself. Anyways, we'll begin the destruction of the Mushroom Kingdom momentarily. Any objections?" Bowser asked.

"Yes! I WANT PIZZA!" Larry yelled.

_-Back to the field scene-_

_[All singing and dancing] The Bowser Crew will definitely not back down!_

_I have a feeling they are over-confident!_

_The Bowser Crew will definitely not back down!_

_Chance of failing is 99.9 percent!_

_The Bowser Crew will definitely not back down!_

_Can't the government do something for once?_

_And if you're tired of hearing us complaining..._

_...We'll say it again!_

_-snap-_

_-stomp-_

_-snap-_

_-stomp-_

_-snap-_

_-stomp-_

_-snap-_

_-snap-_

_-AT BOWSER'S CASTLE-_

"WHAT THE? HOW THE HECK DID YOU GUYS GET UP HERE SO QUICK?" Bowser shrieked.

"Well, the back door was unlocked so we decided to go in from there." Luigi said.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! YOU IDIOTS! YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO LOCK THE BACK DOOR!" Bowser screamed.

"YOU DIDN'T TELL US TO LOCK THE DOOR, THOUGH!" Ludwig yelled.

"Yes I did! I specifically said and I quote, "Make sure you guys lock the back door too!" and did you do that? NO. NO NO EN FREAKING OH!" Bowser raged.

"Oh...right...um...anyone wanna play charades?" Lemmy cheesily tried to change the subject.

"Hey look! Peach is up there in that iron cage!" Toad pointed.

"QUICK! MAKE A DISTRACTION WHILE I SAVE HER!" Mario yelled and ran past Bowser.

"I got this you guys!" Yoshi said and stood in front of Bowser.

He cleared his throat and started to sing.

_-music blasting out again, a little slower this time-_

_There are some times when I have cravings_

_I assume you know what I'm talking about!_

_But you know, fruits aren't everything_

_There is also candy as well!_

_ESPECIALLY KIT-KAT BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS!_

"Nobody cares." Bowser arrogantly replied.

"Uhh RUDE MUCH?" Toadette insulted.

"Yes! He got her out!" Luigi pointed. Mario and Peach dropped from the iron cage and headed back to the group.

"NOW WAIT A SECOND HERE! I AM NOT LETTING HER GO WITHOUT A FIGHT!" Bowser roared.

"WELL BRING IT ON BUDDY! I HAVE 20 YEARS OF KUNG-FU EXPERIENCE AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO SHOW YA MY MOVES!" Diddy yelled.

"Diddy, sit the hell down. You're not even 20 years old yet." Birdo said.

"Alright, you want a fight? WE'LL GIVE YOU A FIGHT!" Mario screamed, getting into his fighting stance.

"Ooh! Let me get this on camera!" Morton said.

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!" Peach screamed and everything fell silent for a second.

_-music starts back up again-_

_[Peach singing] Fighting like this is not the way_

_To reach the peace in our worlds!_

_Why can't we just make a compromise?_

_Everything will be much easier that way_

_DON'T YOU THINK?_

"Seriously Peach? You're really gonna go down the "MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR!" route? How lame!" Wario scoffed.

_-At the field again with the upbeat music back up-_

_[Everyone singing and dancing] The Mushroom Kingdom's under attack once again!_

_This should just become the norm in our society now_

_The Mushroom Kingdom's under attack once again!_

_This place should be re-named "MUSHROOM BATTLEFIELD"_

_The Mushroom Kingdom's under attack once again!_

_Even the Shadow Queen did a better job at this!_

_And if you notice how everything ended so quickly..._

_...That's cause the author is lazy!_

_-music stops-_

"So what do you say, Bowser? Compromise? No more of this domination stuff?" Peach asked.

"Sigh...well...alright, fine. I'm stressed out over this stuff anyways, I need a break." Bowser said and extended out his arm.

Mario nodded his head and shook his hand.

"Oh my gosh, this is such a touching moment, I'm gonna cry!" Wendy sniffled.

"How anti-climatic. I really wanted to see a final showdown!" Waluigi complained.

MEANWHILE...

"Oh Bowser, you little wimp. Looks like I'm gonna have to get the job done for you, huh?" Dimentio said, watching over everything.

He snapped his fingers.

**BOOM!**

The entire Mushroom Kingdom blew up in a blast of pretty pink flames.

"There we go! No more stupid...oh wait a second...I'm...also in the Mushroom Kingdom...aren't I? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

**BAM!**

EOC.

For someone who seems witty, Dimentio doesn't really make the best decisions, does he? Please review. Also, the continuation of The Wa Machine will appear next chapter.


	10. ANNOUNCEMENT

I have an announcement: I am no longer continuing Random Days In The Mushroom Kingdom...kind of. You see, now I think that putting separate fics up instead of putting a bunch of stories together in one HUGE fic is much, MUCH better because not only does each one-shot/two-shot/three-shot/mini-story get more easy attention, it puts less pressure knowing that I have to update a long fic I already promised I'll go through all the way with.

For example: If I wanted to do a one-shot comedy story about...shoot, I don't know...Mario and the gang having all their karts destroyed, I wouldn't put it in here, I would just upload it as a separate fic.

Do you understand what I'm saying? Basically, from now on, I'm uploading stories separately, as their own fic. If you still have no idea what the hell I'm saying, look at Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus' profile. He has 502 stories and over half of them are simply one-shots or two-shots, etc. That's what I'm gonna be doing from now on.

So yeah, I'll be uploading separate random humor fics whenever I can so don't give up on me.

However, I will be continuing the "The Wa Machine" story in this fic, so don't give up on this fic either.

~Stay cool.


End file.
